Ice Blue
by Cal Mcdonald
Summary: Ben Mason is in the second half of his freshman year of college when he meets a blue-eyed boy who changes everything he thought he knew about himself. *slash* Summary is kind of sappy I know but hopefully the story is better? AU
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:  
This story contains themes of homosexuality. If this offends you, don't read it. I haven't decided how explicit I'm going to be with the physical side of things (I personally think I suck at writing sex, so we'll see)  
This will also contain strong language, and alcohol use.  
Kindly review even if you don't review kindly (but be constructive, please)  
My hope is that they will get progressively longer.

_Why do they always hangout right in front of the door?_ Ben Mason thought grumpily as he approached the entrance to the science building, stomping through the first real snow fall of the season. He was already late to class, a class he that at this point in his second semester of freshman year at Princeton, was currently in danger of failing, which was pretty much a first for him. He didn't know what it was, but he just couldn't concentrate lately. He was doing very well in History (of course, his father would have killed him if he got anything less than A in THAT class), English was always easy, Math was something he had to work at, but was doing well in that too even so. But there was something about this biology class that he just couldn't wrap his head around. And he LIKED biology.

All of that flashed through his mind momentarily as he tried to slip past the big group of smokers currently blocking the door. Trying to get through without drawing attention to himself, always his preferred method was an exercise in futility as far as he could tell. One, who he could only see from the back, currently, was directly in front of the entranceway. A tall, short-cut but shaggy haired male with dark hair and pale skin, he was talking animatedly and profanely with the young man standing next to him. Ben groaned and finally spoke, "Hey. Do you mind moving, some of us have to get to class…"

He abruptly stopped speaking when the lanky other young man turned around. Brushing hair away from his face, the other guy fixed his ice blue-eyed gaze onto Ben. _Oh great_. _Him._ Ben thought. The other boy was in his class. He was always late, always left early. But when he was there he spent the whole class interrupting the professor to correct something or ask obtrusive questions to which he obviously already knew the answer. The fact that he always right did nothing to improve Ben's disposition towards him. He had to admit he was biased because in middle school Ben was that kid always correcting the teacher, until some of the other students had introduced him to the inside of his locker, not releasing him until he agreed to never again ask the question "Is there homework tonight?" From then on Ben had dedicated himself to being as invisible as possible to anybody outside his own group of friends. Not always the easiest thing to do when you were the little brother of the star player on the lacrosse team.

Ben, who always sat in the back so he could take his notes without being interrupted by somebody asking for a pen or some such aggravation, had never before come face to face with this guy. _Jack? Johnny? James? Something with a J, I know that._ Ben wondered to himself. Those thoughts ran out of his head as he briefly met the eyes of the other boy. Those steely eyes seemed to lock onto Ben. They ran down the length and up again of all of Ben, as if they were grading him. Ben felt a flush run across that his cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold wind. He didn't know what it had to do with. Ben looked down and started playing some gravel with his shoes.

"You wanted something?" The other boy inquired as he smirked at Ben.

"Um…yeah…I kind of need to get to class. Uh, our class…" Ben fumbled out. Damn it. Why couldn't seem to string a sentence together? "I'm already sort of late and I don't want to miss anything-"

The boy looked puzzled as he ground his cigarette out under his heel. "Class? What class? I don't have a class right now…oh wait. Biology. Right. You're the kid who always sits in the back and writes whole treatises of notes while that idiot drones on. Back-Seat-Blond-Kid. That's what I call you in my head anyway." Ben felt a hand grip him on the shoulder and he looked up. "Well, come on Back-Seat-Blond-Kid, wouldn't want you to miss any of the crap the professor tries to pass off as facts." Suddenly Ben was being dragged through the door, into the heated building.

After shaking the snow off himself and putting down his bag Ben, who had quietly slipped in, took his customary seat in the very back row. He heard rustling next to him. This was weird, because usually nobody sat next to him. He turned slightly and saw J (how he was mentally referring to boy with blue eyes until he could remember the guy's name) sitting down in the seat next to him. Ben flushed again, suddenly glad that he was at least a little tan so the blush wasn't super noticeable on his cheeks. What the hell was going on today?

"Hey, Back-Seat. Got a pen I can borrow?" Oddly, even though this was exactly why he sat back here, the question didn't immediately cause Ben to get annoyed. Sighing, Ben nodded and handed the dark-haired boy one of the many pens he carried around in his backpack.

"Here, and my name isn't Back-Seat. It's Ben." The boy smirked again, fixing his icy gaze on Ben. Ben started to feel really hot, and started fidgeting, trying to avoid the other's eyes.

"I'm Jimmy."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:  
So despite the fact that a large part of my family lives in New Jersey, and I have been to Princeton a couple of times, I don't actually know much about the campus or the city. So I will either change the college they go to, though I want to have it somewhere it snows, to a school I do know (but those are mostly in the south), or I may just ask you guys to bear with me as I completely mess up geography.  
I also have no idea if Princeton is one of those schools where freshmen are required to stay in dorms. Can you tell I wrote this A/N while writing the chapter?  
I will be updating this quite frequently (probably at least once a day) for the next few weeks. As the chapters get longer I will probably update less frequently.

Ben could hear Jimmy _-I KNEW it was something with a J_- furiously writing in his notebook with Ben's borrowed pen. _What the hell is he taking notes for? He knows all this stuff already. For that matter, why is he even in this class to begin with? There's no way he couldn't test out._ All these thoughts raced through Ben's head as he tried to concentrate on what the professor was saying over the noise of laptops being typed on, and whispered conversations. Was he the only one who wanted to pass this class? When you were the son of a university professor, failing a freshman-level science class, especially when it was a subject your father knew you were interested in, was simply not an option.

He felt a tug at his elbow. He looked over and Jimmy was sliding a folded piece of paper at him. Was Jimmy seriously passing him a note in class? What was this, middle school? For that matter, Ben hardly ever passed notes back in middle or high school. The rest of his circle of friends were just as focused on getting good grades as he was. If he knew that was what Jimmy wanted it for, he never would have lent him that pen.

Ben unfolded the piece of paper and stared at it. Scrawled across it was a doodle, a pretty good one at that, of a young guy hanging himself and the words THIS CLASS IS HELLA-BORING. THIS PROFESSOR FUCKING SUCKS. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE? There were even a couple of boxes with NO? And YES? over them for Ben to reply. It was so juvenile, but for some reason it made Ben grin widely for a moment before he let that fall. He quickly scribbled NO. I NEED TO PASS THIS CLASS. He passed the note back to Jimmy. Ben had rarely skipped class, even his senior year of high school last year. That was more his big brother Hal's thing. Hal was always skipping class with his athlete buddies to go get fast food or see movies, and the teachers always let it slide because he was good at using a net on a stick to catch a ball, Ben thought uncharitably.

Jimmy frowned, fixed a glare at Ben and rapidly penned a response. Shoving it back at Ben, he smirked in what Ben was starting to think of as his trademark. Ben unfolded it again. COME ON! I CAN HELP YOU PASS THIS CLASS IN MY SLEEP. LET'S GO! That brought Ben up short. It was pretty obvious that with his problems paying attention to this class (he hadn't even looked up at the board or the professor for the last 10 minutes because of this note exchange with Jimmy) Jimmy's oddly random offer of help might be his best shot. But why did he make the offer? Why the hell was Jimmy even passing him notes, asking to hangout? They had literally just met 20 minutes ago. If it weren't for the fact that Jimmy had told him about the nickname he had given Ben, would never have assumed Jimmy even knew he existed way in the back of the lecture hall. This was turning out to be a really confusing day.

Ben jotted down MAYBE. WHERE WOULD WE GO? This was an important consideration to Ben. Since the roommate he shared his dorm with, David, liked to (badly) play his guitar and (attempt to) sing all the time, he tried to spend as little time as he could there. Looking at Jimmy, who while he wasn't messy or anything, was still wearing just a black t-shirt with some band name Ben had never heard of and baggy jeans, with a pretty beat up ski jacket on his chair, they probably didn't hang out at the same places. Ben spent a lot of time at the coffeehouse down the street from his dorm, reading by himself. While not exactly a loner, he hadn't made many friends yet this year, so he really didn't know any of the "hangout spots" around campus or in town. Most of the time when he ventured out it was to various historical spots in Princeton that his dad would e-mail him about just so he could take some pictures to prove to dad that he was paying attention to the e-mails.

Jimmy, obviously sensing victory was close, smiled at what Ben had just written. He pushed the paper back at Ben. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THE BAR SCENE TYPE. WE COULD GO HANG OUT AT MY APARTMENT. OR GET COFFEE OR SOMETHING. Ben frowned. Bar scene type? Even if he could get into bars at 18, which he had never tried, he had to admit Jimmy was probably right. Ben wasn't wearing a suit, but he was wearing a warm button up shirt and khakis. On his chair sat a high-end pea coat that his grandparents had given to him for last Christmas. He even had a scarf in the coat pocket, though after getting some odd looks around campus he rarely wore it unless it was absolutely frigid. Wait. An apartment? If Jimmy was a freshman, shouldn't he be in the dorms? Pushing that stray thought of out his head for now, Ben marked down a response. OK. LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE I GUESS.

Jimmy grinned triumphantly and immediately jumped up, loudly pulling his chair out and snatching his coat. Ben, right away embarrassed by the noise attracting so much attention, looked up at the rest of the class. But mostly the professor seemed relieved. Probably that Jimmy had been so quiet and was now leaving before tripping the instructor up on something like "That's _not_ the right scientific name for that animal. Where did you get your degree?" He sheepishly put on his coat and followed Jimmy out.  
-

Reviewer(s): Thanks for stopping by! Sugarcandy, you are right that I left some stuff off. This is mostly the result of the fact that uploading process has completely changed since the last time I uploaded a story (2008) so some stuff got cut off in the uploading process; also I have very few (none) people I feel comfortable asking "Hey can you read this gay slash fic I wrote about Falling Skies and edit it for me? I sent an e-mail to one of the authors for my own website, waiting to hear back from him. I did kind of reverse the shyness factor between Ben and Jimmy, because I kind of think that's the way they actually would have gone if not for the invasion. And yes, I will be shamelessly taking parts of your backstory on Jimmy and Ben for this story. But (spoiler) Jimmy's dad won't be (physically) abusive.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:  
It may have been a bit ambitious to promise one update every day. I'm going to work as hard as I can to keep that promise, but I'm kind of running out of steam a little bit after the big hit of inspiration that I had when I started writing this. My goal right now is to try to make each chapter at least 1000 words.  
I'm also coming up blank on facts about Boston, despite the fact that I have an aunt and uncle who live thereabouts. If anybody knows the Boston area and has some suggestion about neighborhood(s) Ben and Jimmy should be from, feel free to contact me!

Ben still really didn't have any idea what was going on. Things were happening a little too fast for him to process all at once. 40 minutes ago he couldn't remember this kid's name, and had no idea that the other boy even knew he was there, and now Jimmy was basically dragging him by the arm out of the science building into the snow. Finally, Jimmy let up his grip and kept pace walking next to Ben. He gave Ben a sideways grin and said "So, coffee huh?" Snow was falling onto Jimmy's face with the wind coming right at them, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. It gave his fair skinned face a kind of shimmery effect which Ben found oddly hypnotic.

"Yeah…I like coffee…don't you uh like coffee?" Ben stammered out. _Jesus, what is wrong with me today? I was in Honors English and now I can't even get single freaking sentence out._ He looked at Jimmy, trying to decipher the expression on his face. Something like amusement mixed with…pity? That couldn't be right. He started staring at his feet as he walked, just to avoid the narrow-eyed gaze of the other boy. Even though it was still pretty early in the evening, there weren't a lot of people walking the street. Beyond distant traffic, the only sound was the crunching of their shoes on the swiftly falling snow.

"Sure. I like coffee. In the morning. To wake up after not enough sleep. I just don't usually drink it at 4pm. Kind of reminds me of being a kid drinking hot chocolate." Jimmy's sideways grin quickly slipped into that smirk he usually wore. "So what's the deal with you and this biology class anyway? You seem pretty smart, and Bio 101 ain't exactly rocket science." They were about half-way to the coffee shop by now, just passing Ben's dorm. Though not exactly sure why, Ben was hoping he didn't run into to anyone he knew.

For some reason, the quip about his intelligence brought the flush back to Ben's cheek. "Thanks I guess. I try anyway. I don't know what it is about this particular class, but I can't seem to remember anything. I take lots of notes, but when I get to the tests I just sort of freeze up and everything I learned flies out of my head. I just can't concentrate. If I fail this class it will bring down my entire GPA and my dad will kill me. He's a professor and—"

"Holy shit! Your father is a professor? That's a shitload of pressure. He isn't a professor here is he?" Jimmy remarked as they stepped out of the weather into the coffee shop. He even held the door for Ben, which he found a little odd but decided not to comment on it. Ben wanted to say it seemed out of character for the other boy, but considering this was the first time they had said more than two words to each other, what the hell did he know what was normal for Jimmy and what wasn't? Stamping the snow off their boots, they headed up to the counter. Jimmy ordered a dark coffee, black. When Ben ordered a latte with whipped cream on top, that weird almost-pity expression returned to Jimmy's face.

The place was little more crowded than it usually when Ben came here, it was pretty cold outside after all. But they managed to find a table towards the back, away from most of the other people, mostly students, but not anybody Ben recognized off hand.

"No. He's not a professor here. He's a history professor of American history at Boston College," Ben said, responding to Jimmy's earlier question as they sat down. "And yeah, it is a lot of pressure. He was some kind of prodigy when he was in school. There's this guy, one of his old teachers, something Manchester, who usually comes over for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and he always raves about how dad was the type of guy never left early and asked the best questions—"

"Whoa whoa. Wait a second, you're from Boston? No shit, me too. I'm learning all kinds of interesting things about you Back-Seat-Blond-Kid! And how could you concentrate in that class? That fucking professor is SO BORING. He just drones on and on, and he got his degree at dog training school or Clown College, somewhere like that. I don't like having to correct him, but it's just so necessary. Don't worry; I can make sure you get an A in that class, no problem."

"Somehow I don't believe you when you say you don't enjoy correcting him," Ben responded with a grin on his face. "I could never live it down if I failed a freshman biology course. And I'm doing so well in all my other classes, I don't get it, I LIKE biology. Now if it was physics or something like that then I could understand…"

"I can help you pass physics class too…" Jimmy murmured, seemingly to himself. Ben quirked an eyebrow at that, but Jimmy didn't seem to notice.

"Why did you offer to help me? Why did you ask me to skip class with you? I didn't even know you knew I was around." Ben blurted out suddenly, not sure why but he needed to get the questions out that were burning in his mind.

Jimmy smirked yet again. "I don't know. Do I have to have a reason? You seemed interesting and I wanted to talk to you…"

Reviewer(s): Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad everybody seems to like the way I'm writing Jimmy and Ben. A big part of my basis for Jimmy's outgoing personality is the scene in Season 1 where he basically mocks Lourdes for claiming to be from Boston when she went to a college outside of Boston. Everybody seems to be clamoring for some descriptive slash. I'll see what I can do :P


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note:  
Yes, this is the second update of the day. I was hit by some more of that inspiration. Maybe because I'm trying to avoid Christmas-related chores like decorations and talking to people…  
I've already started on the next chapter, so depending on what happens that could be up late tonight.

The next afternoon, Ben sat in Western Civilizations, trying to pay attention to this professor. Great. Now he couldn't even concentrate on this class. At least THIS class he could pass in his sleep all on his own. Living with Tom Mason, every meal was a history lesson, every car trip a chance to point out some historical site. And Ben liked that, most of the time. Of course, like any 18-year old, he got a little fed up with all the lectures. Hal REALLY hated them. He never paid attention, so his dad would repeat them a couple of times, until Hal finally responded with a sarcastic "Gee dad, that really is neat." You could never tell what Matt was thinking at times like that. Matt would just sit there, listening, never responding. It was weird, because usually if something annoyed Matt or he really liked something, you couldn't get him to shut up. One time, when he was 10 or 11, their mom and dad were planning to be out of town on his birthday. He just kept shouting "Everybody else gets birthday parties! Why can't I have one this year!?"

_You seemed interesting._

What the hell did that mean? And why was it filling Ben with so many conflicting emotions? One minute he was grinning like an idiot and the next he was frowning. Interesting? Like what, a science experiment or something? Who the hell told somebody they were "interesting"? Ben, who had countless and endless debates with his high school friends about the meanings of words, was inclined to run around in circles to dissect everything somebody said to him. It didn't really lead to good social skills, and it made him hyperaware to trying to figure out what people thought of him. He finally resolved to take it as a compliment until he had evidence to the contrary. But there was something about the way Jimmy's piercing blue eyes had looked when he said it…There was a puzzle here that Ben didn't have all the pieces to yet.

"Mr. Mason! You have something you'd rather be doing right now?" The professor's voice cut through Ben's musings sharply. Ben looked up and realized he had been loudly tapping his pen against the desk. Mortified to realize everyone was everyone was staring up at him, Ben cleared his throat.

"No professor. Sorry, I guess I'm just impatient for Winter break to start next week. But this is a really interesting lecture." Ben blurted out quickly. Then, looking down at his notebook, he hoped that was the end of it. The instructor coughed and continued with his PowerPoint–aided lecture.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Ben pulled it out, slightly confused. Who would be texting him in the middle of class? His father knew his class schedule, and would never text him during a lecture, Hal never texted him, Matt didn't have a cellphone yet (poor kid), that left a handful of his friends, but they usually chatted over Skype later at night. He frowned, not recognizing the number. When he pulled the message up, he had some comprehension, but also a few more questions.

HEY BACK-SEAT! I'M HAVING A PARTY AT MY APARTMENT TONIGHT. DON'T WORRY; IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY LOW-KEY. CAN YOU MAKE IT? –J

Ben snorted. Louder than he thought he had, for suddenly the professor's voice rang out again. "MISTER Mason. Do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of the lecture hall? And you know my policy on cell phones during class. Put that away or step outside." Ben muttered an apology and tried to return focus to the lecture, but his thoughts kept coming back to the text, it brought up some questions for him.

First off, how did Jimmy get his cell number? He couldn't remember giving it to the other boy yesterday evening. And what did he mean, don't worry it's going to be low-key? What was he trying to say about Ben? Granted, Ben DIDN'T go to that many parties. Unless you counted hanging out in his friends' basements in high school, playing video games. Or that freshmen mixer he went to during orientation…the one where he stood against the wall, talked to few people, and mostly ambled around. OK, maybe Jimmy was making some good assumptions there. To be honest, Ben was just glad to have made a new friend, even if everything was moving a little quickly for him to process everything. Pushing aside the "how did he get my cell number?" question for a moment, on his way out of the lecture hall Ben quickly tapped back a response to Jimmy.

SURE I GUESS. WHAT TIME? WHERE IS YOUR APARTMENT? Ben assumed Jimmy's place, he had never gotten around to asking why Jimmy wasn't in a dorm, was within walking distance of the campus. Otherwise he'd have to take the bus. His father had paid for a bus pass, and he couldn't afford a taxi on the stipend his small scholarship gave him combined with the money his parents sent him.

He reached his dorm room and could hear David attempting to sing and play guitar through the door. Sighing, Ben pushed the door open. David looked up and said "Hey. Some guy came by looking for you earlier. I told him you were out and gave him your cell. He looked, like, really intense." Ben grinned, that was one mystery solved. His phone vibrated again.

AWESOME! WICKED STOKED YOU CAN MAKE IT! IT'S AROUND 9. HERE'S THE ADDRESS! NO NEED TO BRING ANYTHING –J

Ben stared at his phone. That address was halfway across the city. It would take him hours and hours to get all that way by bus. He started to type out that he couldn't make it after all when his phone vibrated yet again.

I KNOW IT'S A LONG WAY FROM YOUR DORM. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR, I CAN PICK YOU UP OR TAKE A CAB AND I'LL PAY WHEN YOU GET HERE –J

Ben was damned if he was going to ask Jimmy to pay for an at least $100 cab ride just to get to his own party. So he tapped out a response to have Jimmy pick him up around 8.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note:  
I don't know cars. Like at all really. So any car terms I use, probably incorrectly, are mean to be in general and not refer to any particular make or model.  
Also, I may change the school they attend to NYU. I am not super familiar with the campus, but I know New York City. I'm not entirely sure Princeton even has the type of buildings I describe in this chapter.  
This is the longest chapter so far, but I think it is one of the most important.

Ben was waiting outside his dorm in the swirling snow at 8. The snow storm hadn't let up for two days now, and everything was glittering in the lights of the street lamps. Ben tugged his coat so he was covering his face better. He was starting to get a little impatient when he heard a car honk down the street. He turned to see a brand new luxury sedan rolling up to his corner. Jimmy rolled down the passenger window and said "Hurry up and get in, it's fucking freezing out here." Ben slid in, buckling his seatbelt. He looked around in amazement at the car. It completely clashed with his image of Jimmy. It was shiny, had all the bells and whistles and electronics, and it was spotlessly clean with leather seats. "Traffic is like freakily light, should only take like 20 minutes to get to my apartment. Some people are already over, but it's gonna be a small group tonight." Jimmy remarked.

"That's cool. Wow. This is, like, a really nice car." Ben commented. Jimmy flashed a shy smile, at least Ben thought it was shy, he had never seen shyness from Jimmy before. In an oddly subdued voice, Jimmy replied. "Thanks a lot…my dad got it for me last Christmas. His idea of reaching out. Hey what class did you have today? I went by your dorm but your roommate said you were out."

Ben, used to dissecting sentences for purpose, decided not to make an issue of the fact that Jimmy had quickly shifted the focus of the conversation away from himself. It was…cute…Ben shook his head. Cute? Where did THAT come from? Instead of pursuing that odd line of thinking, he replied to Jimmy. "I had Western Civilizations. It was pretty boring. I know that stuff like the back of my hand. I can usually coast right through it. There was SOME excitement. Like when I got yelled at by the professor because I took out my phone to read a text SOMEBODY sent me." Ben popped a smile at Jimmy's facial reaction to that. At least Ben was putting coherent sentences together again.

"Ah shit. That's my fault I guess. Don't worry, it takes time to get used to being yelled at by instructors but eventually you won't even notice. Trust me. So you're roommate seems pretty weird. What's his deal?" Ben smiled even wider at that. There was something oddly comfortable about talking with Jimmy. Familiar. Somehow it felt like he had been talking to Jimmy his whole life. Even though, judging by the car and the way he deflected conversation away from himself, Ben realized he knew next to nothing about Jimmy. He didn't even know his last name.

"Oh. David?" Ben said, reacting to Jimmy's query. "Yeah. He is kinda weird. He grew up in some small town in Nebraska or Minnesota. Somewhere like that. All he does all day every day is try to play that guitar and TRY to sing. And always country music. He told me he's been playing since he was five. I just really want to tell him if he hasn't gotten the hang of it by now, he should give up." Ben gulped. That was a lot more honest than he had meant to be. But Jimmy just snorted.

"Hey. You do have the ability to make fun of people. Good to know."

They had entered a part of town Ben had never ventured into before. It was full of luxury high rises and high end stores. Jimmy drove down into one of the underground parking structures, flashed a pass to an attendant who raised a security gate, waving the car forward. As they were getting on the elevator, Ben was struck by how nice the building was. But, deciding to honor Jimmy's obvious dislike of personal questions, he resolved not to probe.

That resolution didn't last long. When the elevator opened directly into Jimmy's "apartment" it was massive. High ceilings, a balcony, with a hot tub, that was bigger than Ben's whole dorm room. "Holy shit. Jimmy. What do you do? What do your parents do?" Ben blurted out before he could stop himself, this was just too image shattering. It wasn't that Ben's family was poor. His dad was tenured and well paid at Boston College, and had even published a couple of books. His family lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. But this apartment, in this city, probably cost twice their mortgage monthly.

Jimmy took on a pained expression. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Ok. You're from Boston right? You ever seen the ads for Boland Motors?" Ben's eyes widened.

"Your dad is…James Boland? He owns, like, every car dealership in half of Boston."

"Yeah. He also happens to be a world-class prick. But that's a story for another day. Come on, let's hang out." Jimmy began to lightly push Ben down the hallway, towards a living room. Ben's nose twitched with the smell of cigarette smoke. He was grateful that in the last two years, his asthma had died down significantly. The amount of smokers on campus, if he was still struggling with it the way he used to, he would have been flat on the ground wheezing all day.

He could also smell a strong odor of alcohol. THAT made Ben a little nervous. He hadn't done a lot of drinking. Every once in a while Hal and his friends would let him have a beer or two with them in the basement, but he had never gotten drunk. He knew what happened at college parties though, so he had mentally prepared himself as best he could, but he was still a little tense.

Sitting on a couple of couches, smoking was a group of five other young men. They were attired similarly to Jimmy, t-shirts from bands Ben had never heard of, baggy clothes, but they were all neatly dressed anyway. One of them, a square-jawed blond with spiky hair, stood up.

"Jimmy, you faggot you made it!" That set Ben a little on edge. He didn't like that word. He never had. Not sure why, but it always made him kind of angry when Hal used it or his friends threw the word around. Maybe it just struck him as insensitive.

"Of course I made it. It's my fucking apartment, idiot. Guys, this is Ben, he's in my Biology class. I told you about him. Always in the back." Jimmy quipped, walking over to a table full of bottles of liquor and soda. He gave Ben a quizzical look; kind of similar to what Ben was mentally calling his almost-pity look. "Can I get you anything Ben?"

Ben frowned for a second. Told them about him? When? In the last 24 hours that they started talking to each other? It was a little odd, but he shrugged the thought away. It was one of the many pieces to the Jimmy Puzzle that he wasn't able to put together yet. He thought about Jimmy's question.

"Um, I don't know. What do you have?" He hoped he didn't sound as lame he thought he did. Jimmy's ice blue eyes lit with comprehension and seemed to once again lock with Ben's green ones. Ben, as was his usual reaction by now, started staring at his feet. Jimmy's friends were watching the exchange like it was a football game, or maybe a car wreck and it was making Ben really nervous. Jimmy mixed him something that ended up being blue, and handed the glass to Ben who took a small sip.

It wasn't bad. Kind of tasted like fruit juice. You could tell there was alcohol in it, but it wasn't overpowering. Ben took a bigger gulp.

"OH!" Shouted the kid with spiky hair "BACK-SEAT-BLOND KID!" Yeah, James Junior told us all about you. Come on, tell us about yourself." Ben, feeling a little lightheaded, allowed the other boy, whose name turned out to be Robert, to lead him to a seat one of the couches. Jimmy sat down next to him, nursing his own drink, an odd expression on his face as he watched Ben talk to his friends.

A little while later, Ben who was drunker than he had ever been, finally looked up to see Jimmy staring at him.

"Jimmy. This one is fantastic. And super cute. Where did you find him again?" One of the other boys wisecracked. Fire ran through Ben's whole body. His cheeks already flushed from all the alcohol, positively blazed scarlet. Did he really just hear that? Jimmy alternated between scowling at his friend and darting glances at Ben with a questioning look in his gaze.

Ben, adrenaline making him a little more sober, stood up, swaying slightly.

"Jimmy. Is this a date?"

Reviewer(s): There were none. Understandable because I have updated a whole bunch. Hope everybody is enjoying the story so far!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note:  
I wasn't super happy with Chapter 5. I got the beginning and parts of the middle right. I wanted to flesh out Ben getting drunk and talking to Jimmy's friends, but I couldn't get the scene and dialogue to come out the way I wanted. It felt a little rushed because I needed a way to have Ben get this sudden realization of what might be going on. I may try to add to Chapter 5 today, we'll see how it works out.

Jimmy snatched Ben by the arm. Turning another death stare at his friend, he hustled Ben into a room off the main floor. It looked like some kind of guest bedroom. He fixed a plaintive look at Ben and started speaking rapidly.

"Look, this isn't how I wanted you to find out about me. My friends are idiots and –"

"JIMMY!" Ben slurred slightly and yelled louder than he intended to. "Is. This. A. Date?"

Something flashed across Jimmy's pale eyes. Like an electric current, Ben couldn't help but notice it, and even in his drunken state, it filled him with an unidentifiable emotion. A ghost of his trademark smirk appeared on his face. Ben couldn't help but assume Jimmy was mocking his drunken state a little. He wasn't exactly steady on his feet right now, and all this emotional confusion running through him was making him want to sink down to the floor.

"Shit. I don't know," Jimmy responded, a little more hesitantly than usual. "Do you…do you want it to be?" His eyes searched Ben's face, looking for a reaction. Ben, who couldn't take that penetrating gaze right now, dropped his eyes to the floor yet again.

"No. I don't know. Maybe. I haven't exactly gone on a lot of dates, and certainly not with a…" He just wanted to disappear right now. But, for some reason, he also couldn't stop grinning even as he stared at his shoes. His face blazed with embarrassment. But he also was finally putting together a significant piece of the Jimmy Puzzle. Jimmy having a…crush…on him explained a lot of what happened in the last day and a half. It didn't explain all the conflicting feelings coursing through Ben right now, though.

Jimmy's eyes, which had fallen when Ben said no, blazed with something like triumph when Ben said maybe. "With another guy, right? Look. This doesn't have to be weird. If you don't want it to be a date then it can just be a party I invited you to. That's what it's supposed to be anyway. I wasn't trying to ask you out, not really. OK maybe a little but –" Ben, definitely emboldened by the alcohol, cut Jimmy off by gripping him by the shoulders. He was painfully aware that what he was about to say he never would have vocalized without the new sensation of being drunk. For the first time, he initiated eye contact with Jimmy, captivated by the things he was seeing on Jimmy's face as Jimmy tried to ramble an explanation.

"It's not weird. Ok, it's definitely a little weird. But mostly it's just…different. Really different. But I guess this could be a, erm, date. Kind of a weird first date, at your apartment with your friends grilling me. But, it's alright I guess. Damn it. I need another drink." Ben, emotionally exhausted, sat down on the bed in the room and covered his face with his hands. He breathed out audibly. _Did I really just say all that? Am I on a date with another guy?_ He felt Jimmy's hand on his chin, tilting his face up to meet Jimmy's eyes. Suddenly, Jimmy ghosted a kiss across Ben's lips. It was fleeting and hesitant, but it definitely happened. Ben stiffened slightly, but he felt the same thing he did when talking to Jimmy. Safe. Comfortable. Somehow familiar. Jimmy stepped back and stared at Ben. Instead of his standard smirk, Jimmy had a grin plastered across his face.

"Um…anyway. Don't think of this as the first date, if that weirds you out. Our first date was coffee yesterday. If you want. Another drink? We can manage that…" _Second date? Second date…with a guy…_ This was all definitely happening too quickly for Ben.

He and Jimmy walked out of the room back into the living area. All of Jimmy's friends leered at the two of them. Ben didn't even want to know what they assumed had happened in there after Jimmy basically dragged him into that room. Jimmy went back to the bar to fix drinks while Ben sat down on one of the couches. Jimmy called over his shoulder "Ben and I are on our second date. Be nice to him." Ben ears turned scarlet. It was nerve-wracking to have that said loudly, even if all of Jimmy's friends had assumed he was here knowingly on a date before.

"Second date? When was your first date? When James Junior was staring at you in class?" Robert with the spiky hair asked mockingly, though he smiled which helped take the fangs out of the joke. Ben turned slightly towards Jimmy at the "staring at you comment" but decided to let it go for now.

Jimmy sat down next to Ben, handing him another glass of the blue drink he had mixed earlier. While banter with Jimmy's friend continued, Ben felt a sudden pressure on his hand. He looked down and saw Jimmy hand snaking around to fit into his. Ben felt warmth spread all over. He unconsciously squeezed back, and let Jimmy's hand remain entwined in his.

Safe. Comfortable. Oddly familiar.

Second Author's Note:  
So this chapter is kind of short, but I wanted to get it out while I can. I'm going to work on Chapter 7 today, whether I flesh out Chapter 5 or not. I'm still debating if it should take place the next day or two in-story or if it should be a Ben focused chapter set a week later while he is home on Christmas vacation, to contrast his personality at school and his mannerisms around his own family.

Reviewers(s): Thanks for stopping by again! I am so glad people are enjoying this story. Biebfan, you are definitely right about Jimmy being a catch. He is going to prove this more and more. And he may just work on Ben's awkward shyness. Glad none of my dialogue has made you cringe!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note:  
I decided to go a different route than intended. Instead of making a week later or even a couple days later, this chapter takes place the next morning. I decided to document the beginning stages of whatever this thing is between the boys more closely.

Ben groaned loudly as he opened his eyes. His head was pounding. He was intellectually familiar with the symptoms of a hangover, having had Hal and his friends describe it to him, but he had never experienced them for himself before. His mouth felt like sandpaper. His eyes burned, not least because he had obviously fallen asleep without taking his contacts out. At least he didn't feel like he had to throw up. As he fully opened his eyes, last night's occurrences, most of them anyway, rushed into his memories. He bolted upright, which his headache protested quite loudly.

_Is this a date? I don't know, do you want it to be? Second date. Jimmy's lips softly against his ever so briefly. The feel of Jimmy's hand in his own._ As for memories after that, nothing really. A kind of blank wall that he could blame on drinking. That was ok. He knew going into a college away from home, he would eventually drink too much. That was like a requirement of college life, wasn't it? Then he took stock of his surroundings and really started worrying. He wasn't in his dorm room. He was in the same guest bedroom that he and Jimmy had confronted each other in the night before. He looked around. He was fully clothed (thank God), though he wasn't wearing his shoes. His coat was neatly hanging in the closet on a hanger. What the hell happened?

He stood up, carefully because of the way his head was screaming at him in pain. He walked out into the hallway and saw two of Jimmy's friends from the night before sleeping heavily on one of the couches. He tread softly down the hallway so as to not wake the other boys. He entered the kitchen. He couldn't help staring around. Even more than the size of the apartment itself this room brought Jimmy's family's money into focus. Everything was either shining chrome or marble. Even the floors were marble. A huge oven (Ben liked to cook, so he definitely noticed that), a gigantic subzero fridge. Everything you could imagine. The aroma of bacon and other food lingered in the air. Ben was startled briefly when he realized Jimmy was sitting at the table, reading a book whose cover he couldn't see and drinking coffee. He was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

Ben cleared his throat, immediately regretting it. Even that small motion set his headache off again. Jimmy looked up and smirked. Obviously noticing and recognizing Ben's pained expression, he spoke softly.

"Morning. You look like hell. Want some coffee…maybe some Tylenol? There's food too if you want some." Ben was in too much pain to react to the look like hell comment. He ran his hands through his short blond hair. It was sticking up in places. He probably really did look hell. He muttered something like yes, thank you and sat down at the table. He put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on the tabletop. Jimmy studied him for a minute, with a slight grin and then got up to grab Ben the coffee and other stuff.

"What the hell happened last night? All I remember is sitting with you holding…on the couch. Then nothing." Ben asked quietly.

Setting the coffee, aspirin, and a plate of eggs in front of Ben, Jimmy started grinning broadly. "Nothing much. Oh there was the fact that you got really drunk. You started shouting 'MY DAD MADE ME MEMORIZE THE DECLERATION OF INDEPENCE WHEN I WAS SIX. LOOK I'LL RECITE NOW, JUST TO PROVE IT!' You did, very impressive by the way, and then you collapsed and passed out on the couch. Robert and I carried you to the guestroom and dropped you in there on the bed." Ben stared slack-jawed at Jimmy.

"I didn't really do that, did I? Oh my God. That is so…so…I don't know, embarrassing. I don't usually drink. I guess that's kind of obvious, though?" Jimmy grinned even wider at that.

"Yeah, you really did that. Don't worry, it was very endearing. And yeah, it was pretty obvious you were a dinking beginner. That's why I made you my patented Blue Pond. It's my own recipe; I make it for all the novices. Of course when you have five of them it adds up…" Jimmy's expression turned serious. "Listen, about last night. The whole date thing. I know you were drunk. We don't have to make anything of it if you don't want." Jimmy was trying to keep a straight face but Ben could tell that his answer was very important to him.

Ben, though fortified by the coffee and food, headache dulled by the aspirin, was honestly too tired to form coherent thoughts, let alone try to piece together a long verbal response. He stood up suddenly and walked over to Jimmy. He grabbed Jimmy into a rough hug, and pressed a kiss to Jimmy's lips quickly.

"That's my answer. Now, do you mind giving me a ride home? I feel gross; I really need to shower and sleep the rest of the day."

A little later, Jimmy dropped Ben off in front of his dorm. Seemingly on impulse, Jimmy pressed a quick peck to Ben's cheek. Grinning sheepishly; it struck Ben how differently Jimmy was acting from the cocky guy who grabbed him by the arm and threw him into the lecture hall just two days ago. Suddenly aware that somebody he knew could have seen this, Ben darted his eyes around, and saw no one. He was relieved. It wasn't that he was ashamed. He didn't know what he was. Two days ago he had never thought of a boy like this before. He hadn't really thought about girls either though. He was always so focused on school his whole life that even the couple of dates he had gone on had felt like distractions. _Crap. What am I going to tell my family? Do I have to tell them, when I don't even know what's happening myself?_

He walked into his dorm room. David looked up from his guitar.

"Whoa. I can't believe you didn't come back last night. Drink too much at a party or did you get luck?" David said mockingly.

Completely serious, Ben replied "I drank too much at a party. But I'm definitely also lucky."


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note:  
Hope everybody has a great Christmas or whatever Holiday wish is appropriate for you!

Ben waited outside his dorm for Jimmy at 2pm. The snow had finally stopped falling in big waves over night, but everything was still blanketed in white. It had been two days since Jimmy had dropped him off after the party, and Ben was going a little crazy. He had had so much classwork to do that he had barely seen the sun, let alone had time to talk to Jimmy, in two days. It was weird, the opposite of how he had felt his whole life, but it almost seemed like school was a distraction from Jimmy. They had texted a lot while Ben was holed up doing homework. Stupid stuff mostly, they had yet to discuss anything serious since Ben had made the totally unusual choice of embracing Jimmy in the kitchen of his apartment.

_Jesus Christ, will you listen to yourself? This thing with Jimmy, whatever it is, just started. You've literally only had two half-kisses, so you've really kissed once. AND HE'S A GUY. You're already considering throwing out schoolwork just to see this guy?_ His subconscious yelled at him. Ben couldn't help but grin at the internal debate he was waging. He really didn't understand what was going with him, but somehow he just didn't care. All he knew was that in a few days he had to head back to Boston for winter break, and he wanted to spend time with Jimmy before that happened. He assumed Jimmy would also go to Boston, but he hadn't asked about meeting up over break. In the back of his mind, almost below the surface, he had a fear that this, whatever it was, was "college experimentation" as his dad would say, and the spell would be broken by going home.

His musings ended when he heard "Hey Back-Seat! You ready?" called out from behind him. He turned around and saw Jimmy beaming as he walked towards Ben. Jimmy came up and clapped him on the shoulder. Ben smiled widely and nodded.

"Where's your car? And what movie are we going to see?" Ben inquired as he started following Jimmy down the sidewalk. Suddenly he felt Jimmy's hand snaking into his. Startled, Ben started to pull away on instinct. What if somebody saw him holding hands with another boy? Then, quite impulsively, he decided he didn't give a damn who saw it. He allowed Jimmy to wrap his fingers in his, and squeezed back. All his worries melted away, and he was suddenly just glad to be where he was right at that moment.

Safe. Comfortable. Somehow familiar.

"I parked down the street. I thought you might need to stretch your legs after being cooped up in that dorm for the past 48 hours. Plus I like walking through the snow. It makes everything look neat. Kind of reminds me of Boston. As for what movie, well, you'll have to look at my DVD collection and tell me what strikes you as good." That brought Ben up short and made him a little worried, even though he chuckled at Jimmy's un-macho admission of snow making things look neat. He had assumed they were going out to the movies. He hadn't been back to Jimmy's apartment yet.

"I uh, thought were going out to the movies? Like to the theatre?" An unrecognizable emotion flitted across Jimmy's face as Ben said that.

"No. If you had read my text carefully, you would have noticed that I asked if you wanted to WATCH a movie with me when you were free from coursework. WATCH means hang out on a couch and play a DVD. If we were going to the theatre I would have said SEE a movie. Plus, I thought it would be more private…but if you want to go out instead we do that…" Ben cut Jimmy off by squeezing his hand hard.

"It's not a problem. I just assumed…anyway your place will be great. Your friends aren't going to be there, grilling me, are they?" Jimmy grinned and shook his head.

They hopped into Jimmy's car. Ben, still nervous about messing up anything that nice, made sure to kick the snow off his shoes before he got in. He decided now was a good time to broach the subject he had been dreading. "So…I'm going back to Boston next week for winter break…I don't know what your plans are during the break, but if you want to meet up and hang out in the city…" Jimmy's face took on a pained expression, pretty much the norm when he was discussing anything related to family.

"Ugh. Boston? I'm not going back there if I can avoid it. My family doesn't really do Christmas." At Ben's shocked expression, Jimmy perked up, kind of annoying. He cocked a smirk and said "My parents are divorced. My Dad is a jerk who thinks he can buy my affection with cars and apartments. My mom is going to be in Europe, spending her alimony with whatever pool boy or tennis instructor she is currently bang…err…_seeing_. I just have a half-brother from my dad and we don't really hang out. So yeah, I'm staying here if I can. I don't know what you're family is like, but uh, if they kick out of the dorms for the break and you don't feel like flying back to Boston you can always stay with me…you know, in the guest room…" Ben's expression became even more shocked. Then he grinned yet again.

"My folks would kill me if I didn't come back for Christmas. But with my brothers, that's definitely something to think about…"

A little while later they were sitting on Jimmy's couch. This was in a completely different room than from the other night. _How many rooms does this place have?_ Ben pondered idly. They were watching some comedy Ben couldn't pay attention to. All he could think about was the weight of Jimmy's hand, resting in his. He was resting his head on Jimmy's shoulder, it was weird, it was almost a perfect fit with the curve of his chin…But, in a most likely futile effort to appear nonchalant, he was staring intently at the (huge) TV screen.

He was broken out of his hypnotic reverie by Jimmy's hand on his face. Jimmy turned their heads to reach other. He pressed a kiss to Ben's lip. But unlike the last two times, he left it there. Ben could feel Jimmy's tongue almost licking at his teeth, begging to be let into Ben's mouth. Ben pulled back slightly. Jimmy tilted his head. "We can go as slow as you want, if this is making you uncomfortable…" Jimmy said softly. But the hungry look blazing in his piercing blue eyes belied the self-control in his voice. Ben, who had never really made out with anybody before, panted a little bit. There was no way he was going to speak coherently right now.

In lieu of answering, Ben crashed his lips on to Jimmy's. His tongue rammed past Jimmy's teeth into the waiting mouth. He didn't know what it was about Jimmy, but for the first time in his entire life, all he cared about was impulse. He was tired of living in his own head, always worry…that thought was cut short when Jimmy's hand slid under the hem of Ben's shirt to grab his stomach. Ben was instantly glad that he had been able to start working out when his asthma started dying down. He'd never be super ripped like Hal or the other athletes, but at least Jimmy wasn't grabbing on to the baby fat that he would have two years before. Their tongues seemed to fight for dominance, Ben surprising himself with the aggressiveness of his actions. And it seemed like Jimmy was intent on discovering every facet of Ben's mouth.

Ben was burning up. He felt like he was on fire everywhere as Jimmy's hand traveled up to rub Ben's chest under his shirt. Ben, this being his first real making out experience, honestly had no idea where to put his hands, so he rested them on Jimmy's shoulders in a kind of half-hug as Jimmy started playing with one of Ben's nipples. Ben's senses were on overdrive. He had no idea anything could feel this good, ever. He froze up when he felt Jimmy's other hand fumbling with his belt buckle. Was this really happening?

The boys sprang apart when they heard a loud voice from the front of the apartment.

"Yo. James Junior, you in here? I brought Beer and thought we could watch some TV…" Robert's voice trailed off as his entered the TV room and saw the two boys, visibly panting and red faced, staring at him. "Oh shit. What did I just interrupt?" Ben gave Jimmy an embarrassed grin.

Second Author's Note:  
Sugarcandy, if you are reading this: Yes. The ending of this chapter is partially revenge for all the times Hal cock-blocked Jimmy and Ben in Fire Light and First Patrol. And Matt too. All the Masons are cock-blockers. Hope you guys enjoyed my attempt at writing kissing. Hopefully it turned out well.  
I THINK next chapter is going to be all Ben. Then we'll see the boys together again chapter after that probably. We'll see where the writing takes me. But Ben alone might be surprisingly fun…


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note:  
Warning, this chapter contains a graphic description of masturbation. If this offends you, stop reading this fic because you will be offended by a lot of the stuff I have planned.

"Ben! Benny! Over here!" Ben rolled his eyes as he stepped into the public area of the airport in Boston. Like he needed the OVER HERE to figure out where his mom was. All he had he had to was look for the overly enthusiastic blonde woman with the garishly colored ugly Christmas sweater…that was mean, Jimmy's sarcasm must have been rubbing off on Ben. He grinned at the thought of Jimmy. His mother assumed the grin was about her, and waved even more wildly.

_Jimmy. If this is going where I think, hope, it's going, that's a conversation I'll have to have with my family eventually…emphasis on the eventually._

Rebekah Mason smothered Ben in a bear hug. As they started walking towards the exit to the parking lot she exclaimed "Benny! You have no idea how much we missed you! You have to tell me everything about school. It feels like it's been years since I saw you! Are you making friends? Your grandparents will be so happy to see you're wearing the coat they bought you! Oh and the scarf your aunt got you too…"

Ben's thoughts definitely started wandering at this point. He knew his mother wouldn't slow down enough to let him respond to anything she was asking, so he tuned her out except for a few key phrases so he could pretend to have really listened to her. It was a skill the Mason boys learned young. Their parents really liked to talk. A lot. He tried to think about Christmas, or presents, or seeing a handful of friends. But his mind kept wandering back to Jimmy. His smirk, the way he cold blue eyes flashed when he was happy, the weight of his hand in Ben's.

_We can go as slow as you want. A burning hunger in the other boy's Siberian husky eyes. A warm hand on his chest._

His mother continued to prattle as they drove away from the airport. He nodded, said yeah a couple of times at random intervals, and thought hard.

Ben didn't WANT to go slow. Or at least he didn't think he did. He didn't have the words or concepts to visualize his thoughts, his desires. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but he knew he wanted to discover it all with Jimmy. After Robert had interrupted them (wasn't sure he would ever forgive Jimmy's friend for that, even if things HAD been going just a little too fast for him…) they had finished the movie and Ben had to get back to his dorm room. They had met for a coffee a few times, in between Ben studying for finals (it seemed like Jimmy never studied, ever), but there had been no real alone time, and soon enough Ben had to leave for Boston. He had been supremely tempted by Jimmy's offer of staying back with him, but his family would never have forgiven him for missing Christmas. And trying to explain why, without detailing the dynamics of his…relationship…with Jimmy would have been impossible at this point even if Ben himself understood them. "Honey? Are you alright? Your face is red!" Ben's mother asked suddenly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just hot in the car I guess."

They finally pulled up to the Mason home. Ben piled out quickly. He hadn't brought that many bags with him. He did his own laundry at school, so he wasn't one of those kids who showed up at home with twelve bags of dirty clothes for his mom to wash. He walked up to the house and could hear Christmas music playing through the windows. He rolled his eyes again. "Where's everybody else?" he ask his mother.

"Oh. Dad went to go pick up Hal. He was away for the week at a friend's lake house somewhere. They should be back later tonight. Matty is at a friend's house tonight. He swears he will be here tomorrow morning for Christmas presents. I think he will because of the presents not much for the rest of us. Honestly I don't know what has gotten into him lately. It's like he doesn't want to be seen with us. Neither you nor Hal were like that as teenagers…" She continued in that vein as they entered the house. _Hal was like that. He didn't want to be seen with you, he was just good at hiding it._ Ben thought uncharitably. Ben dropped his bag in his room. He looked around. It was…just his room. It was pretty much the way he had left it. Mom had come in and dusted a couple of times, but other than it was like time had frozen. He had heard from some of his friends that the second they left home their parents had turned their rooms into offices or exercise rooms or art studios. He was glad that hadn't happened to him. He liked being able to come home and settle right back in. Though he couldn't help but feel like something had changed. Something was different in an infinitesimal but undeniable way. Maybe all the things he had learned about himself, or was starting to learn about himself. He was swiftly hit by a bit of a melancholy feeling. It was a sobering realization to figure out that you could never really go home again. He knew he would never fit again the way he used to before he met Jimmy.

He decided to take a shower before dinner rolled around. Grabbing a change of clothes from his bags, he headed into the bathroom and started the water running so it would heat up. As he started to undress, he looked around at the bathroom he had shared with brother's his whole life up until a year ago. That awful floral wallpaper that had been out of style when the house was built before the Masons ever moved here, the snowman soap dispenser that his mother put out every year, Hal and Matt's toothbrushes on the counter; all of it familiar. And, of course, the endless array of hair products belonging to Hal; gels, sprays, something called "hair sculpting glue". The shower had the same apple-scented shampoo and body wash his mother had been buying for the house for as long as he could remember. He saw himself in the mirror and nodded approvingly at the improvements he had made to himself over the past few years. The baby fat was gone, replaced by a hard, lean stomach. He had the beginnings of real biceps, and he had definition on his chest.

He stepped under the water and let it cascade over him. He had had the weirdest feeling all day. Actually he knew what it was. He had never really gotten the feeling his friends called horny. Intellectually he understood it. But he had never been focused on sex, never really thought much about girls. He had started to suspect a while back that his single-minded focus on school had turned him asexual. But ever since he met Jimmy, especially after that aborted make out session on the couch, he had been experiencing feelings that either never had, or had perhaps just lain dormant. Thinking of Jimmy and that couch, he reached down and grabbed his erection, which was turning painful. The water pouring over him was hot, and steam was filling the whole bathroom.

He had jacked off before. He wasn't THAT different from everybody else. But it had always felt mechanical. Like something he had to do relieve pressure, not something he had strong emotions about. And he never really thought about anything or anybody when he did it. There was no sense of real enjoyment or urgency to it.

As he stroked himself faster and faster, there definitely was now. He wrapped both hands around himself and started breathing heavily.

_Piercing blue eyes. A long tongue exploring every inch of his mouth, almost tickling his throat. A warm hand on his stomach, then his chest, playing with a nipple. Another hand fumbling with his belt…what would have happened next? _Memories and fantasies of what might have been washed over him as he came. It felt like his orgasm lasted forever. And he could think was _Jimmy._

He heard a knock at the door. "Benny?" His mother called. "You've been in there a long time. Your father and Hal are back. Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine mom! I'll be out in a minute!" Ben called back through the door. He quickly washed his body and hair and stepped out of the shower. He could smell the apple scent on himself. It smelled like…home. He changed his clothes and stepped out. He went to his room to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. He startled when he saw Hal standing in his room, holding Ben's cellphone.

"Hey. Want to explain this to me?" Hal said holding up the phone so Ben could see the screen. A text message was on it that read:

HEY YOUR PLANE LAND YET? I MISS YOU ALREADY, WHEN ARE YOU GETTING BACK? WE NEED TO FINISH WHAT WE STARTED ON MY COUCH. TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, STUD. –JIMMY

Second Author's Note:  
Just so you know, I know I am laying it on REALLY thick with the whole "Jimmy changed everything" subtext (or maybe not so sub). But I really think it is vital to establishing just how important and life changing all this stuff is for Ben. We will see more of Jimmy's reaction later; I am considering flipping POV for a couple of chapter down the line.  
If you haven't guessed, next chapter will not actually be Ben and Jimmy reunited. As I was finishing this chapter I was hit by the need to write a Hal chapter. So that's coming up soon. Maybe even tonight.

Reviewer(s): Once again thanks for stopping by! What can I say to basic non-specific positive feedback besides, thanks so much I'm glad you guys are liking the story. JDMlvr1, great to see you again outside of First Patrol! Thanks for the kind word, cute!  
-Greg


	10. Chapter 10

Ben's head was about to explode. Every emotion in the world hit him at once. But mostly there was a blind panic. For a moment he was angry. What was Hal doing in his room? Why was Hal looking at his cell phone in the first place? Then the blind panic returned. Ben slammed his door shut and rushed over to Hal. He babbled almost incoherently. "What are fuck are you doing with my…that text, it's not what you think…you can't tell mom and dad they'll kill…what are you doing with my phone? Please Hal, you can't tell them." Suddenly he felt a vise grip on his lungs and he started coughing wildly. _Jesus Christ. I'm having an asthma attack. _He ran over and grabbed an inhaler from his desk and, sinking down onto his bed, tried to calm down. It was futile. All he could see in his mind was Hal running down to shout at his parents BEN IS DATING A GUY NAMED JIMMY LOOK AT THIS TEXT MESSAGE! Dating? Is that what he was doing? There was just too much going on. He couldn't breathe.

"Hey Ben; Benny!" Hal's voice cut through Ben's panic. It sounded sharp but somehow comforting. Ben opened his eyes, slowing his breathing down. Hal was standing next to his bed, looking down at Ben in concern. Hal touched his hand to Ben's shoulder. "Ben just breathe damn it. It's alright. Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna tell mom and dad. Just calm down, sit up, and talk to me." Ben slid up, and covered his face with his hands. He was completely emotionally drained. It was starting to be a familiar sensation. To his horror he realized he had tears in his eyes. Fuck. He was crying in front of Hal. Hal, who had teased him his entire life about being a nerd, about being overly emotional. "Benny. The reason I had your phone is it was ringing when I walked by. I came in to see who it was and try to turn the ringer off. When I pushed a button, that text message popped up. I really wasn't trying to snoop. We're too old for that shit. You obviously have a lot going on. Come on, talk to me." Hal sat down on the bed next to Ben.

In between stifled sobs, Ben let the whole story flow out of him. Ok, not the whole story. He edited out parts of the make out session. But meeting Jimmy, the instant connection, the strange feelings, the odd comfort he got just from the other boy's presence. It felt great to talk about it. He couldn't believe he was talking about it with Hal, though. He kept sneaking glances at his brother's face to gauge his reaction. All he could see what intense listening and understanding. Was this the same person he grew up with? Suddenly Hal had him in a bear hug. It was a little awkward because they were sitting down, but Ben finally relented and hugged him back. "Wow. Benny. That is a lot of stuff to go through alone. Or sort of alone, anyway. I'm glad you told me all this."

Ben looked up. "I just…don't know what to do Hal. I mean mom and dad, who knows how they're going to react? I don't even know what I'm doing, all this stuff that's going on…" Hal gripped him by the shoulders again.

"Ben, you know what to do. If you really like this…guy…you just let things happen. You see where it goes, and you move on from there, day by day. You don't have to plan your whole life right now. That's what I did, I thought I would do sports forever, then I fucked up my knee freshman year at LSU and that was over. I had no idea what to do with my life, all my plans were gone. And as for mom and dad…well that can wait. If you don't even know what you're doing, talking to them is just gonna complicate shit. When you are ready to talk to them, I'll be right there next to you. Now come on, we have Christmas Eve dinner. It should be smooth sailing without Matt whining about everything. You might want to wash your face though; you're all red and puffy…"

Author's Note:  
Sorry this chapter is so short. I felt really good about the beginning and the initial dialogue, but things kind of fell apart for me in the middle. But I wanted to get this out so I can start working on the next chapter. I really wanted Hal to be someone Ben could turn to in this story. Next chapter will be way longer, I promise!


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note:  
So yeah once again I have not physically reunited the boys yet. I started writing that but I realized it would move the story faster than I wanted to, which would result in the story being shorter than I planned. But they are reunited in a way. You'll see.

Christmas morning: Ben felt better about it after having shared his thoughts with Hal. He kept watching Hal, waiting to see signs of the awkwardness or tension he expected, but he never saw any. Hal was acting completely normal. A little nicer maybe, but the disgust and rejection he had feared never materialized. Matt was also normal. Which meant: he was yelling at mom for some perceived slight that probably had been an innocent mistake. Dad was in his study, grading finals. He would emerge when it was time to open presents. Ben sat at the kitchen table, eating a cinnamon roll. Their mother made them every year on Christmas morning. It was just normal. The undeniable change he felt in himself was not borne out by circumstances, and he must have looked the same to his family. His mother walked into the kitchen.

"Ben you got a package yesterday, I forgot to tell you. You can open it before we do presents I guess. Your dad won't be ready to come out of his sanctuary for another half-hour I think." Ben blinked. A package? Who would be sending him something? If it was from a relative his mom would have put it under the tree with the rest of the gifts. She put a box on the table; a card in an envelope was taped to the top. It wasn't a very large box. There was no return address on it. Ben opened the envelope.

_To Ben: Thanks for your awesome friendship. I am glad we met; it made school so much easier to handle. Merry Christmas. –Jimmy._ _P.S. I got your address from your roommate, no stalking, I promise._ Ben grinned widely. He was so thankful that Jimmy had been so much more discreet in the note than he was in that text from the night before. What if his parents had read the note, to see who it was from? Hal knowing was nerve-wracking enough. He quickly ripped the brown paper wrapping off the box. He stared at the box.

"Holy shit. That is a sweet phone dude! Who gave you that?" Matt said as he walked into the kitchen with Hal, doubtless in search of cinnamon rolls for breakfast. As their mother chided Matt for his language, Hal gave Ben a knowing smirk. He could obviously guess who it came from. And Matt was correct. Ben couldn't believe it. This phone must have cost hundreds of dollars. It was one of the ones that had everything. Internet, video, mp3 player, camera, everything. _Damn it. Now I have to get him something. Of course I don't have the money to buy him anything as cool as this. Have to make it good, though…_

"My friend from school sent it to me. He probably got it on clearance or wholesale or something." Ben hoped his voice was as casual as it seemed to him. The last thing (OK, second to last thing) he wanted to do was explain how his "friend" was the son of the biggest auto dealer in Boston. Like so many things, that could wait. Ben quickly swapped out the sim card into his new phone and headed into the living room to wait for presents. On his way in, he shot a text to Jimmy.

GOT YOUR PRESENT. THIS IS AMAZING. CALL YOU LATER, SO MUCH TO TELL YOU :)

Opening presents was…opening presents. He got socks and clothes and all the other stuff that you always got on Christmas but you hoped you wouldn't. He got some video games from his brothers and books from his father (of course). Instead of throwing the wrapping in the trash bag, his brother would ball it up and throw it at his head, just like every year. He would get his revenge by throwing boxes towards Hal and Matt's heads. Hal complimented him on his aim and new muscle strength. It was all just so normal. And yet it all felt wrong somehow. Like a piece of him was missing. That feeling of not being able to come home again hit him like a wave, almost physically rocking him back. What had once been so familiar was like a stranger to him. He was no longer the same person he had been when he came home for spring break in April, let alone had boarded a plan to leave for college a year ago. He wondered if Hal had felt the same way his freshman year. He realized Hal must have, especially when that knee injury had ended Hal's college sports career forever. He suddenly felt out of breath, like he had to leave the room right now.

Thankfully the presents were done, and everybody else was either getting up to go off to another room or sitting there looking at their presents. Quietly, Ben slipped up to his room. He pulled out his new phone and punched Jimmy's number in. He smiled when he saw Jimmy had already programmed his own number in there. It rang a few times and he heard, "Hey! Did you get my package?" Just the sound of Jimmy's voice raised his spirits and he lay back in his bed, propping his head up with a pillow.

"Yeah I did. Dude, this is like so expensive. How am I supposed to top this? I can't give you like a card with like a $20 Amazon gift card in it or something. You set the bar way too high. Are you busy? You have time to talk?" Ben responded, the pressure in his chest completely gone.

"Yeah sure man, what's up? And don't worry, I'm sure whatever you get me will be great." Jimmy could even smirk with his voice, an impressive accomplishment to Ben.

"Well for starters, you kind of…outed...me to my older brother last night. This caused me to have an asthma attack and cry and break down right in front of him. That's the word, right, outed? I don't know any of this shit."

"Outed…yeah that's the word. What do you mean I outed you? Oh shit. The text message. He saw the text message didn't he? Jesus Christ Ben, I'm so sorry. What happened? Did your brother beat you up? I'll kill him if he did. Did your parent's freak out? Holy fuck!" Jimmy was blurting out. It was actually really adorable. Usually Ben was the one who babbled and said um a lot. He shushed Jimmy.

"Thanks for the offer, but what's one more beating from Hal after a lifetime? And no, he didn't. It was so weird. He was super supportive and understanding. He like a different person. Like a friend, not my crappy older brother. And he said he wouldn't tell my folks. I believe him I think. I just wanted to hear your voice…I miss you." He winced at the admission. I miss you? So stupid. Even if Jimmy had admitted it first in last night's text.

"I miss you too. When are you coming back? You're not spending the whole break at home are you? That's like weeks. When are you getting back, I'll pick you up at the airport if you want." Jimmy's voice had a pleading quality to it that Ben didn't want to examine right now. He smiled wide.

"I was going to spend the whole break here. But I think I may tell my parents I have to study for the new semester, and head back a week early…"

Reviewers(s): You guys are the best. Once again I am so glad that everybody seems to like the story. Whispermaw: I don't think it was Jimmy's intention to trick Ben into a date or to get him drunk. I could be wrong, since these darn characters seem to have a life of their own and sometimes I have to chase after them before they play in traffic. I think he just wanted to get to know Ben better and his friends ruined that for him. Biebfan: That is a lot of praise. And all I can say is thank you. Yeah, as a non-hetero person myself I hate when stories, fanfics or otherwise, have characters who in the first chapter just go "Well I guess I'm gay now. Let's have sex somewhere and be gay from now on." Obviously I'm trying to establish Jimmy as the more experienced and confident one, without trying to make him a player. I'll try to justify your faith in my ability to write sex.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note:  
So I'm actually surprised I got this chapter done. Not to go into too much detail, but I had to go to the ER today. They thought I had appendicitis. I started writing this chapter on my smartphone in the waiting room. And in the room waiting to be seen by a doctor. I don't have appendicitis but I do have tons of acute pain. So not only did I start this chapter on my smartphone, I completed it while on painkillers at home. So, if it is riddled with errors and doesn't make sense, blame drugs. But such is my dedication to get Ben and Jimmy out of my head and onto paper for you guys.

Ben breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped off the plane. Talk about going home again. He was wearing the new scarf his aunt had sent him, and new shoes from his parents. He slung his carryon bag over his shoulder and headed towards baggage claim.

In almost a parody of the scene in the Boston airport a few weeks ago, he heard "Hey! Back-seat! Damn it. I mean Ben! Over here!" Jimmy was standing by the luggage carousel, waving. Ben beamed at him. It was a bit of a drive to the airport, so he was pleasantly surprised that Jimmy had offered to pick him up. He gave Jimmy a shy smile and waving back, trotted over to him.

Both of the boys, momentarily uncertain how to greet each other, stood in awkward silence for a moment. Amusement danced across Jimmy's face. It was obvious how HE wanted to greet Ben. Ben, throwing away caution and, once again, acting on impulse, threw his arms around Jimmy and all but slammed his lips against the other boy's. Just seeing Jimmy erased his doubts about what was going on, all the crap he was thinking about back home melted away. Just the other boy's presence had a calming effect. Jimmy was surprised by Ben's aggressiveness into non-action, and then responded by deepening the kiss. Then he pulled back. "Easy there. So you want me to drop you off at your dorm so you can unpack or what?"

Ben smiled hesitantly. "Actually I was thinking we could WATCH a movie at your place. I didn't take that much stuff with me and I didn't bring all that much back. Your friends aren't going to walk in whenever they want all the time, are they?" Jimmy returned Ben's sly smile with one of his own. They had reached Jimmy's car and got into it.

"Nah. I'll definitely try to lock the door from now on. So tell me how you're break was. Mine was pretty boring. A couple concerts, some low key movie nights, one or two wild parties…" He trailed off at the amused expression on Ben's face. "What?"

"Oh nothing. It's just we talked like every night while I was gone. What do you think I have left to tell you about my break? It was good. It was weird." Ben knew there was stuff left, he had yet to tell Jimmy about the weird feelings of disconnect he had around his family. He didn't even really know how he actually felt about what was going on between him and Jimmy, so he was damned if he was going to try to explain all that. "Everything was the same with Matt that kid never changes. It was super weird having this totally new dynamic with Hal. I mean, for the first time in my life I feel like we're actually friends. Oh speaking of Hal, there is one thing. He's coming out to visit me sometime next month…and he wants to meet you…hey! Eyes on the road!" Jimmy had whipped his head around to stare at Ben. "Listen, I know how you feel about your own family. I mean as much as you've told me anyway. But Hal is trying to be supportive, I think. He was planning on making a trip out here even before this whole…thing…with us started. And he just wants to meet you. But if that weirds you out, we'll figure something else out…what is THAT look for?" Jimmy had a lopsided grin on his face as he purposefully stared ahead at traffic.

"Nothing. You just surprised me is all? But you're right. I don't talk about my family a lot. I guess I don't really feel like I have one. I'm not sure I ever had one, even when my parents were still together…but anyway. I think it's cool if your brother wants to me meet me. I mean, we still don't have a label on what thing between us is, how would you even introduce me? I don't that anybody's ever wanted me to meet the family before." As they pulled in to Jimmy's parking spot underneath the building, Ben squeezed his hand.

"I don't know. Do we need a label? For the first time in my entire life just about, I don't really care about what to call this. Can't we just be what we are for now?" Ben couldn't believe it was himself saying that. Where did all this nonsense about not needing labels or not analyzing everything come from? Jimmy just nodded and led him upstairs.

A little while later, to no one's surprise, they were completely ignoring the random action movie Jimmy had put in the DVD player. All Ben could think about was Jimmy. Their tongues were once again fighting for dominance in the other's mouth. Ben wouldn't be satisfied until he had explored every little place in Jimmy's mouth. He ran his tongue across the roof of Jimmy's mouth while Jimmy's was tickling the inside cheek of his. He was running his hand across Jimmy's stomach, his thoughts just clear enough to experience a twinge of jealousy. Jimmy had the definition he always wanted in his abs. He ran a finger in and out of each muscle, acting on complete instinct.

He felt Jimmy's hand unbuttoning his shirt hurriedly. When all the buttons were undone, Jimmy pulled his mouth away from Ben's and started trailing kisses across his chest. When he captured one of Ben's nipples in his mouth, Ben moaned louder than he thought possible. _I hope his neighbors can't hear that._ He couldn't catch his breath. But not in the same way in an asthma attack, he was just overwhelmed by the unfamiliar feelings coursing through his body. His entire being on was fire with sensation. He felt Jimmy's hand playing with his belt buckle. This time he didn't freeze, he reached down and helped Jimmy undo it. Agonizingly slowly, Jimmy lowered Ben's zipper. He returned his mouth back to Ben's at just the right time. As Jimmy gripped Ben's erection, Ben moaned even louder than before, the sound absorbed in Jimmy's mouth. He could see Jimmy's eyes widen when he looked down at Ben's achingly hard member. It was the first time anyone had ever touched Ben down there like that. Ben was completely overloaded, and he honestly didn't know why he didn't just bust in Jimmy's hand right away. He let his eyes roll back as he closed them.

His entire world exploded when he felt something wet and warm descend on his dick. He opened his eyes wide and all he saw were Jimmy's blue irises staring back at him. Jimmy ran his tongue down Ben's length then slowly took it in his mouth and started bobbing. He could see the width of it was straining Jimmy's mouth. Ben couldn't take it anymore. With an earth-shattering groan, he released his seed into Jimmy's mouth. It seemed to go on forever and the pleasure was so intense it almost hurt. When it was done, Jimmy, who had apparently swallowed every drop, wiped his mouth off. He looked at Ben with a sheepish laugh that seemed so at odds with the intense hunger had displayed before.

"Let me guess, that was your first blowjob? Also, my fucking jaw hurts." Ben just burst out laughing.

Second Author's Note:  
So. There you have it. My attempt to start writing sex stuff. Hopefully it was a good attempt. Reviewers, I'm honestly too tired to respond individually right now. Maybe tomorrow. Sugarcandy, I will say thanks for reviewing! And yes, I had a roommate who not only sang and played guitar badly, he did in fact give my number out to people who came by looking for me. Also, Princeton, like every college no matter how good, is filled with at least a few professors who literally know nothing about their subject, but are there because they know the right people, or they managed to snag tenure before anybody figured out they were bat shit crazy. My intention is to make Jimmy a quiet genius. Not quiet himself, but I want to give the impression that he is scary smart and the university knows this without ever having a scene where somebody tells Ben "hey that's that kid who is building cold fusion in the college basement!"  
Interesting side note: The inspiration for last chapter where Matt and Hal threw all the wrapping paper at Ben's head is exactly what happens to me every year at Christmas. Only I have at times 7 brothers throwing shit at my head.  
Oh, and, sorry I had to mention Jimmy's eyes widening and his mouth struggling to contain Ben. I tried to be classy but I'm kind of tired of fanfics not admitting that there is no way that Ben Mason isn't packing a huge dick in his pants.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note:  
So I had some last minute late night inspiration after staring at this blank document. Just wanted to give a little glimpse into Jimmy's perspective. It also may be the only way to get some exposition on Jimmy's state of mind about his family. Plus I was afraid that after writing Jimmy well the first few chapters that he was just becoming somebody to respond to things Ben said. I want to focus on Ben, but this story is about both of them. This takes place the day after the previous chapter, and the next chapter will take place a few hours after this one. Standard warning for the next little while: If bad or nonsensical, blame painkillers.

From the first moment Jimmy had seen Ben in biology class, he knew there was something different about the other boy. Something that fundamentally set him apart from anybody Jimmy had ever met. Maybe it was the way he would smile shyly while talking notes, as laughing at a joke in his own head. Or the way his green eyes reminded him of the ocean, with hidden depths. Or the way his blond hair rustled when he ran his hands through it, soft and alluring. The wide-eyed innocence that positively shone around Ben. In anybody else, the earnestness and dedication to school would have caused Jimmy to hate them pretty much immediately, and to use them as fodder for jokes with his friends if he even thought of them at all.

The easy way Ben talked about his family, even when he complained about them. And the things he complained about seem to him make him like his family even more. Jimmy had never had that. He tried to avoid talking to Ben about his family. He was completely serious when he told Ben in a rare moment of openness that he felt like he never really had a family. He wished he had some big story to tell. Like his dad beat his mom and then would beat Jimmy. Or that his mother stole from his dad to feed a million dollar shoe shopping addiction, or took pills to numb the pain. But there was nothing that flashy. His parents never should have gotten married in the first place. They only did it because they had been dating for years and that was just what was expected when two people like them, with their high economic class backgrounds, had been together for a while. You got married, went to balls and galas and functions together. You had some kids and sent them to private school, trotted them out when the parties were at your house. The wife spent the husband's money while the husband worked too many hours and screwed the secretary on the side. All of Jimmy's peers and friends growing up had the same story. Ben talked about his family Christmas being normal. That, the facades and illusions, was normal to Jimmy. Even Jimmy coming out to them in the 10th grade hadn't garnered that much of a reaction. His mother had whined a little bit about never getting grandchildren. His father had looked up from sales reports and muttered something about not letting it affect Jimmy's grades.

_Soft and alluring? Hidden depths? What the fuck am I talking about? I sound like a high school freshman writing poetry about her first crush. _Jimmy thought to himself as he drove down the road towards his apartment, Ben was back at his dorm studying and Jimmy had gone shopping. He scowled at himself. But it was true. There was something different about Ben. Jimmy had never felt like this about anybody in his entire life. He had had boyfriends. A couple of serious ones. At least he thought they had been serious. Jimmy hadn't done anything about his attraction at first. It was obvious the other boy would never notice him, or probably anybody. He told his friends that he had a super-hot boy in his class who always sat in the back and took notes. As was his way, he had given Ben a nickname in his head, Back-Seat-Blond-Kid. He tried to push him out of his mind after that. But every time he saw the boy in class or on campus, his breath would shorten. His pulse would race.

And then he had held Ben. Kissed him. Breathed in his scent, indescribable. Sweet. Loyal. He had never had an instant connection like this. It was obvious that Ben had almost no life experience. Jimmy had thought long and hard before even making out with Ben. Sometimes it felt like he was corrupting that innocence somehow. Breaking a spell. But it felt right. Everything about Ben felt right. The puppy dog eyes Ben had given him even as he laughed after Jimmy had given his blow job ever. Ben hadn't admitted it, but Jimmy could tell that outside his brothers and gym locker rooms, nobody had ever seen Ben's dick before. And that was a shame, because as far as Jimmy was concerned, everything about Ben was a work of art. But at the same time, it made Jimmy happier than he could express that he was the first person Ben had opened his body and mind to. Jimmy was the first to explore who Ben was.

He couldn't wait to see Ben again. And the very nature of his strong feelings for the other boy terrified him.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note:  
Sorry this chapter is so short! I haven't been able to concentrate much. It isn't just this story suffering; all of my other work is taking a hit. Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Please continue review if you feel comfortable, I love hearing your guys' feedback!

Ben tapped a pen against his desk as he tried to concentrate on math exercises. It was a losing proposition, which was not good. Math was not one of the subjects he could just skate by in. Sure, classes didn't start again for another few days, but he wanted to be ahead. He wished he could say he didn't know what was distracting him. But he did. Jimmy.

_Can't we just be what we are for now?_ Had he really said that? It went totally against his personality, against what he had always done. His whole life he had analyzed things. Dissected interactions and conversations, trying to figure out what things were; what they meant. And here he was, telling Jimmy they didn't need a label. Everything seemed so clear when he was Jimmy. He was just Ben, and Jimmy was Jimmy. His Jimmy. His Jimmy? But when he was alone, the doubts returned. Jimmy was right, though Ben didn't know Jimmy knew. Ben didn't have a lot of life experience. He didn't have the tools to deal with what he was going through now. Hal was the one who dated; the one who dad always talked to about relationships and rules and codes of behavior.

Those nagging doubts, the ones that kept him up at night and made him feel like a stranger in his family's home. Who was he now? What was he? Was Ben gay now? Was he not gay before? What did he want? What did Jimmy really want from him? Did he really deserve somebody who seemed as frustratingly perfect as Jimmy did? Even Jimmy's annoying qualities made him seem more attractive. He was secretive, especially about his family or life back in Boston. He was aggressive, but not in a dangerous way. He never seemed to take anything seriously. Ben had never once seen him open a textbook or study for a test or write a paper.

Ben had spent his entire life measuring himself against other people. It was obvious Jimmy was so much more experienced than Ben. Had done so much more than Ben. What happened when, if, Jimmy measured Ben, and found him wanting?


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note:  
Once again my apologies for the chapter being so short. I've already started on chapter 16, but I figured I would break it up and post this as a separate chapter just so I could get something posted!

Ben tossed and turned. He knew he was having a nightmare, but he couldn't wake up. Blues eyes pursued him, piercing into his soul. His parents stood off to one side, glaring at him and finally turning their backs on him. Matt stood next to them, not meeting Ben's gaze, muttering something unintelligible but obviously condemning. _What happened to him? Where did we go wrong?_ He could hear his mother whisper to his dad. _I don't know Rebekah; he used to be such a good son. I had such high hopes for him._ His father murmured back. Ben stood staring at their backs shouting. Only Hal stood next to Ben, a hand on his brother's shoulder. But even his grip seemed to be faltering. Off in the distance, a shadowy figure with pale skin seemed to call to Ben, but he couldn't make out the words.

"Ben. Ben! Wake up!" Ben jerked awake. His roommate David stood over Jim, shaking his arm. "Come on dude. You were screaming in your sleep." Ben looked up in confusion. Right. A dream, a nightmare. Not real. He shook himself and looked at the clock. Almost time to get up anyway. David was already walking back to his own bed.

"Wait," Ben called. David turned around. "What was I saying?" Ben asked. David looked at him, obviously not sure if he should answer.

"Oh. You were screaming something like: why don't you love me anymore? What did I do wrong? I'm sorry. Stuff like that. Must have been some nightmare." Ben nodded. But he couldn't help but wonder if it was a nightmare, or a glimpse of the future. His future. Alone. Abandoned. He knew he was going to have to talk to his parents about Jimmy eventually. Maybe sooner than he wanted to.

Showered and changed and bundled up, Ben waited for Jimmy outside his dorm. It seemed like he spent most of his life waiting in this spot lately. He couldn't wait for Jimmy to get here, so everything could feel clear and right again. He heard a honk and got into Jimmy's car.

"Hey man. Ready for lunch-" Jimmy was cut off by Ben grabbing his head and pressing a rough, deep kiss to Jimmy's lips. "Whoa. What is THAT about? Not that I didn't like it." Jimmy said with a smirk.

"Nothing. Nothing. I just missed you." Ben said softly into Jimmy's ear, breathing in the smell of the other boy. "Yeah let's go get lunch and talk."


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note:  
I really wanted to write what happened at lunch, because it is kind of turning point for the boys, emotionally. But even though I knew WHAT I wanted to happen, I couldn't make it happen quite like I wanted it to. I stared at a one sentence document for like a day and a half. OK, part of that is I've been sick, but still. Anyway, what I decided to skip ahead to about a month in the future to a part I had better planned out. Next chapter we go back to the timeline we were on before. Hopefully this doesn't get too confusing.

Ben felt weird; he hadn't been on this side of the divider before. But, here he stood, by baggage claim waiting for Hal's plane to finish offloading. He shifted nervously, and Jimmy squeezed his hand reassuringly. Even that didn't help so much, since Jimmy had a lot to do with why he was so nervous. Jimmy saw the look on Ben's face.

"Hey. Don't look so worried. You said your brother was cool with you when you were home and when you talked to him on the phone. What, you think he's not gonna like me or something?" Jimmy tried to smirk nonchalantly with the last question, but Ben could tell there was genuine concern lurking behind those blue eyes.

"He was cool when I was home; cooler than I would have ever expected. But that was months ago when...you and I...were a really new thing. And we haven't exactly discussed us when I've talked to him, mostly family stuff. And of course he'll like you, everybody likes you." Ben said softly. Jimmy raised an eyebrow at that last statement. He brought Ben's hand, still gripped in his, up to his face and pressed a kiss to it.

"Not everybody. I can think of a few people, mostly professors, who don't like me. Don't worry; I'll be on my best behavior for your brother. I promise, no trying to get in your pants while he's in the room." Ben increased his grip on Jimmy's hand at the joke. Then his whole body stiffened. Hal was walking towards them, grinning broadly.

Hal stopped in front of Ben and Jimmy; his eyes briefly but noticeably swept down to their entwined hands, but he let it pass without comment. At least for now. He suddenly threw his arms around Ben, causing Ben to let go of Jimmy's hand so he could return the hug. _So far so weird_. Ben thought. Hal continued to be pretty much the exact opposite of the brother he grew up with. It was nice, but unnerving.

"Benny I missed you brother!" Hal said. Ben's eyes went to Jimmy's face at Hal's use of the childhood nickname. Jimmy raised his eyebrow again, Ben was sure he was going hear about it later. Hal continued, as he turned his attention the boy standing next to Ben, "So. This is him, huh?" Ben shifted uncomfortably as Jimmy smirked nervously.

"Yeah...this is Jimmy...my boyfriend." Ben responded hesitantly. Jimmy grinned briefly at that, though not as widely as he did in the week when Ben finally relented and put a label on their relationship. Jimmy stuck his hand out and shook Hal's. "Jimmy this is my brother, Hal." Hal looked at Jimmy as if appraising him. Weirdly, it reminded Ben briefly of the look Jimmy had given Ben when they first met outside the science building. A smile grew across Hal's face.

"Well. He doesn't look like a serial killer. I wonder what he sees in you." At the joke, Ben let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and started giggling in what he knew was a really un-macho fashion. Pretty soon Jimmy and Hal joined in and they headed towards Jimmy's car.

After getting Hal settled into his hotel, which was nicer than Ben had expected, _He must be making more money than I thought. No way had mom and dad shelled out more than a Motel 6._ Ben thought as they headed to lunch at one of Ben and Jimmy's favorite places. It was a higher end burger place about a mile away from campus. Ben listened as Hal started asking questions of Jimmy. He felt like Hal was interrogating the other boy, but he recognized that he just used to having Jimmy all to himself. Plus Ben feared, even if it was irrational, that at any moment the old Hal he had grown up with would reemerge and start hurling insults at Ben and his boyfriend. It was nerve wracking having somebody from his family meet Jimmy, but it was inevitable, he guessed, if things continued like they seemed to be. Jimmy had wanted to invite Hal to stay at his apartment, but Ben had vetoed that at once. It was weird enough having Hal here for the first time, let alone sleeping at Jimmy's place. Plus he didn't even live there...yet. Jimmy had made the offer to for Ben to move in about a week ago, but Ben didn't want to do that until he...came out...to his parents. That he would say no wasn't even in the cards. Even more reason to take the plunge and talk to them. As if reading his mind, he heard Hal ask, "So do you guys live together or are you still in the dorms Ben?" He sounded very casual.

"Benny is still in the dorms," Jimmy said with a smirk, obviously enjoying using Ben's childhood nickname, "I OFFERED to let him come live with me but he said 'not yet'." Hal gave Ben a questioning look. He took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice calm, aided by Jimmy holding his hand under the table.

"Um. I'm definitely going to move in. But I want to talk to mom and dad about...well everything first. I don't want them to think that I was being sneaky or keeping stuff from them. So next time I'm home next month, you'll help me talk to them, right?" His voice took on a pleading tone at the last question. Hal smiled.

"Yeah, of course I will Ben. You're not alone." Ben let out another breath and glanced at Jimmy. He knew Hal was referring to himself.

"You're right. I'm not." Ben hoped everything would work out. But if his parents reacted the way he feared deep down, instead of how he hoped and expected, he knew the only place he could go.


	17. Chapter 17

WARNING: This chapter contains graphic descriptions of a sexual nature between two males. If homosexuality or explicit sexual scenes offend you, stop reading right now. And do not read the rest of this story.

Author's Note:  
So we're back to the original timeline. I decided to kind of skip over the lunch and have the some of the stuff I planned out talked about in a different way and across more than one chapter. I tried to write the lunch and everything came out sappy and fluffy and it didn't feel like it went the rest of the story. I'm trying to get to a place where most of the fluff happens internally, rather than spoken. Enjoy! Please review if you have time and feel comfortable doing so!

After lunch, which Ben had just picked at and never really eaten anything, they headed back to Jimmy's apartment. Ben could tell by the glances Jimmy was giving him that the other boy had noticed something was wrong, but was holding his tongue.

Sitting on the couch in the TV room, finally the tension broke when Jimmy asked "Come on. Obviously something is wrong. You know you can talk to me, right?" Ben looked up and smiled. Just the sound of Jimmy's voice was comforting. And he saw nothing but support and concern in the other boy's eyes.

It was a little disconcerting. Ben was starting to realize that his feeling about Jimmy ran deeper than he had really understood. He knew stood at a threshold moment in his life; that he was going to have to make a life defining choice. And if he chose wrong, he would fall forever. He just wished he knew what choice to make.

And then he felt Jimmy's hand slide slowly into his, and everything fell into place. His choice was made. He spoke hesitantly but forcefully.

"I know I'm the one who said I didn't want labels. But, if you want that is...Jimmy...are you my boyfriend?" Jimmy's eyes flashed with something like triumph and...hunger? That couldn't be right. He smiled, and took a deep breath of his own. He threw his arms around Ben and gripped the blond boy tightly.

"If you want me to be, I am. I told you no labels was ok. I mean it did seem a little weird, coming from you. You're definitely a labels and lists kind of person. But-"He was cut off by Ben crashing his lips against Jimmy's. The aggressiveness surprised both of them as Ben pushed his tongue into Jimmy's mouth and Jimmy responded in kind. Jimmy was usually the aggressive one, but sometimes Ben would surprise even himself with a burst of forcefulness. He pushed Jimmy back on the couch so Ben was leaning over him. He made eye contact with the other boy as they both fumbled to get the others' shirt off.

Running on animal instinct and on previous experiences with Jimmy, Ben let his hands roam along Jimmy's body as he kissed at Jimmy's neck. No movie running this time, the only sound in the apartment was the heavy breathing of the boys and the occasional moan from mostly Ben as Jimmy's hands made their way to his chest to once again play with Ben's nipples. Once again, Ben felt like his entire body was on fire, and his senses were on overdrive as he ran his hands across Jimmy's stomach towards his belt line. He started undoing Jimmy's zipper when he felt Jimmy's hand stop him briefly. His blue eyes blazing with same hunger that was surely reflected in Ben's own green eyes, Jimmy asked, "Whoa. Are you sure?" Ben, panting heavily, just nodded quickly and pulled Jimmy up so they were both standing.

He brought down Jimmy's zipper as Jimmy fumbled with Ben's own belt. It was kind of awkward, Ben was trying to get Jimmy's jeans off while Jimmy was trying to get Ben's belt off. Eventually it all worked together, and both boys stood there in just boxers, which were becoming increasingly tight. Ben caught his breath as he took in the sight of Jimmy. All pale skin and tight muscles. Jimmy's eyes darted around, taking in Ben just as much. As instinct once again took over, he pushed Jimmy back on the couch and crawled back on top of him. Their tongues once again battled in each other's mouths, Ben running his along Jimmy's gums, seeking every spot in the other boy's mouth.

It was Jimmy's turn to roam hands across Ben's body. Ben felt fingers cupping his backside, squeezing as if experimentally. Not sure where all the courage was coming from, and honestly not caring, Ben reached his hand down and slipped it under Jimmy's boxers. Jimmy moaned loudly as Ben's fingers slipped around Jimmy's erection and stayed there a moment as felt the contours of a dick not his own for the first time. Obviously the details were different but it felt right somehow. Breaking off a rough kiss, he locked eyes with Jimmy as with one hand he pulled Jimmy's boxers further and with the other started to stroke experimentally. He was fascinated by the things he saw on Jimmy's face as he increased his pace. Jimmy's breath grew louder and heavier with each passing moment and eventually he squeezed his eyes shut and moaned loudly as he came in Ben's hand.

After a moment of panting silence, Jimmy pushed Ben back and, sliding Ben's own boxers off. Getting on his knees in front of Ben, he smirked.

"My turn."

Second Author's Note:  
I haven't decided yet if the next chapter is going to continue in this timeline or if we're going to skip ahead to another visit home by Ben. It will depend on which type of chapter gives me the least trouble. Reviewers you are awesome and I wish I had time to respond individually right now. FYI, I'm trying to quit smoking and I am going insane.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note:  
So one of the reasons I changed the last chapter around was the dialogue when I wrote the lunch scene kept coming out way too happy and fluffy and sappy. So I switched things around and said "There's definitely got to be some sex in this chapter." I honestly didn't intend for Ben and Jimmy's relationship to evolve so quickly and so smoothly. But apparently my subconscious LOVES fluffy dialogue, because that's all that really came out as I was writing this chapter. Everything is coming out candy canes and rainbows, and as a cynical jerk, I hate it. I am honestly jealous of my own characters.

A little while later, Ben laid on the couch with his arms around Jimmy. Some show he didn't recognize was playing on the TV. He was half asleep, just enjoying the feel and heat of Jimmy in his arms.

Safe. Comfortable. Somehow familiar.

Suddenly aware on a conscious level that he was laying on a couch with Jimmy in his arms and both of them wore nothing but boxers, he pulled up a little. Jimmy, obviously as sleepy as Ben, made a questioning noise. "The door is locked, right? I really don't want Robert, or anybody else, walking in here right now..." Ben wished he had thought to ask an hour ago, he would have had a heart attack on the spot if somebody had walked in THEN. And there was no way he would have heard the door in that state. Jimmy smirked in his usual fashion, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, the door is locked. Robert actually has a key..." He shushed Ben when he tried to interrupt. "But I told him not to use it unless there a fire or some shit. If it makes you feel better we could put clothes on...or we could do this." At that he pulled a blanket from a chair near the couch and draped it over him and Ben. Mollified, Ben settled back into Jimmy's hold, and started drifting off again. The sound of Jimmy's breathing was steady and comforting.

A little while water Ben woke up to Jimmy putting his pants back on. Ben groaned as stretched. Reaching for his own pants, he shot Jimmy a questioning look. "Just hungry. Hang out here and I'll be right back. Want anything?" Ben nodded as he put his shirt on and then sat back down on the couch.

Jimmy returned a few minutes later with two plates of food. Ben started eating as he watched TV. He became aware of Jimmy studying him intently, the blue eyes that always seemed to reach out like high beams, piercing to his soul. He frowned.

"Why are you looking at me like that? We didn't mess up my hair that much, did we?" Jimmy smiled at the joke, hut his expression quickly turned serious.

"No. You look great. You always look great to me. I was just thinking. As awesome as it is that we're all boyfriend official and stuff, something else was bothering you earlier, wasn't it? Come on, talk to me." Ben took a deep breath and nodded. Jimmy put down his food and slid closer to Ben.

"It's going to sound stupid or childish or something, but I had this awful dream. I guess I had come out to my parents. And then they were really cruel, like abandoning me; Matt too. Hal was standing by me, which is weird but would be even weirder if he hadn't been so supportive when I was home." Ben was pretty much into his trademark babbling by now. Once again he felt the calming presence of Jimmy's hand slide into his own.

Jimmy smiled. It seemed like there was a hint of sadness, but it passed so quickly that Ben couldn't be sure it had actually been there. He squeezed Ben's hand.

"Yeah I've had those kinds of dreams. It's normal. I wish I could tell you what to do about it. But, your parents seem a lot more...involved and concerned than mine. I came out to them in 10th grade. There wasn't exactly a huge reaction. My mom complained that she wouldn't get grandchildren, but that was pretty much it. So I honestly can't tell you what's gonna happen. But I promise everything will work out. I'm here for you, whatever happens." He squeezed Ben's hand again. Ben grinned. Everything always seemed so right, as long as Jimmy was holding him.

"It's just; I honestly don't know what to tell them. I mean, I know I like you, obviously. But I've never thought about another guy like this. I've never really thought about anybody. Am I gay now? Was I not gay before? What the fuck am I supposed to tell them?" Jimmy raised an eyebrow at the swear word. Usually Jimmy was the one who swore. "I don't even know what I am, how am I supposed to tell them that I'm in...that I'm dating another guy? And what if they do disown me? I mean, I've never heard either of them say anything bad about gay people, but it's a whole different thing when it's your son." Ben was verbalizing thoughts he had previously kept inside. He honestly hadn't planned on telling Jimmy about some of his internal struggles. He didn't want the other boy to think that his uncertainty about everything else translated into uncertainty about his feelings for Jimmy. He wasn't able to put a name to those feelings, but he knew they were real, and good, and right. Jimmy pressed a kiss to Ben's forehead.

"We'll figure it out."

Second Author's Note:  
I hope everybody enjoyed this chapter, because it may be the last one for a while. I want to write Ben coming out next chapter, but I honestly haven't decided how I want Tom and Rebekah to react yet. Sorry to burst the bubble of anybody who thinks I am writing this with a master plan and a plot layout. Nope. Really just winging it and letting the writing go where it goes. So it may take me a while to write that. Or, who knows, maybe I will have a sudden burst of inspiration and write it all tonight and it will be up tomorrow. Or maybe I'll say "fuck it" and write another 13 chapters of sex (probably not). Or I may write more of them getting to know each other and junk.

Just for future reference, I am going to AU the hell out of this story, pretty much for my own convenience. Right now Matt is 14, which is not canon. I want Hal to be around 20 or 21. Basically I am scrapping the age differences that were established in the show. But it's AU, so I can do that.

Reviewers: Thanks for all the awesome feedback. I am glad everybody seems to like the story. Guest who is actually Biebfan: What I sort of have in my head about Hal, which may be superseded by something I actually write in the story, is that after he hurt his knee freshman year of college, he lost his scholarship and decided to scrap college for a while and came back to Boston to live with the folks and work, I haven't decided where he works yet, but as Ben pointed out he is doing pretty good wherever it is.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note:  
So, I got that burst of inspiration that I joked about getting. I wrote some of this waiting to see the doctor this morning, then wrote more in between other stuff. I always seem to get inspiration when I am writing on the notepad app on my smartphone. This chapter is another flash-forward. It takes place about two months or so after Hal's visit. Enjoy!

Ben took a deep breath as he stepped off the plane. It seemed like he spent half his life in airports lately. The other half was spent in Jimmy's apartment. He had been spending the night there more and more. More often than not, it was by accident. He would drift off while holding Jimmy on the couch and Jimmy would never wake him up until morning; because, he claimed he liked seeing how cute Ben was when he slept. From anybody else it would have been very creepy, but coming from Jimmy it was just a fact.

"Hey Ben!" He heard and looked to see Hal trying to get his attention. He was relieved that his brother was the one to pick him up. Considering the conversation he was going to have with his parents, if he didn't wimp out, he was happy to put it off as long as possible. Plus he could talk things over with Hal. Ben chuckled softly to himself. Talk things over with Hal? There's something that even after all these months still felt weird to think about. As they piled into Hal's car, his brother asked, "So, you ready for this? Still sure this is what you want to do? Not too late to just run away to Mexico or something with Jimmy." Ben grinned at that, it hadn't even occurred to him.

"Don't tempt me. He could afford it. We'd never have to come back. Yeah. I think so anyway. As long as I don't chicken out. I still really have no idea what I'm going to say. Or when. Do I tell them at the beginning of the week so there's time for it to sink in? Or maybe I should wait until the last day so I can make a quick escape if they freak out...I mean, maybe in the middle of dinner tonight I should just shout 'Ta da! I'm gay now and moving in with my boyfriend!'" They were pulling up to the house now.

"I wish I could predict for sure how they're going to react," Hal said as they pulled Ben's bag out of the trunk, "Like you said on the phone, I've never heard them say anything like gay people are evil. But it is a totally different ballgame when it's your own son. I hope it works out Benny, I really do. Like I said, you're not alone."

Ben walked into the house and put his bag down next to the door. He was the same wave of conflicting emotions as when he was home for Christmas. The sad familiarity of it all mixed with an odd disconnect. The artwork on the blue walls in the foyer and connected living room were the same. A mix of historical paintings from his father, mostly Revolutionary War, like Washington crossing the Delaware; and various religious paintings, most of those things his mother had gotten when his grandmother had passed away. It even smelled like home. Matt walked by and grunted in response to Ben saying hello.

"Matt. Matt! MATT!" Ben shouted. When Matt finally stopped and looked at Ben in perfect teenage annoyance, Ben asked, "Where are mom and dad? And what, you can't even say hello to me? We haven't seen in each other months." Matt rolled his eyes.

"Fine; hi," he said in dramatic exasperation. Ben noticed Matt's voice was deeper even than just a few months ago. "Mom and dad went out. Somewhere. I wasn't really paying attention. She said they'll be back in time to make dinner. Can I go now? I have my game paused." Ben smirked, he had starting imitating Jimmy in that way, and the smirk was useful for all kinds of situations.

"Fine, go. Sorry to interrupt your super important game." Matt hustled away. Ben smirked again as he walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, which was still covered in tons of magnets his mother would buy anytime they went out of town. He grabbed some milk and poured himself a glass, standing at the counter. He let out yet another deep breath, and buried his face in his hands. He wished he knew what he was going to say to his parents.

A little while later, Ben was still standing in the kitchen when his father walked in. Ben looked up. His father was dressed casually. It was a little disconcerting. Whenever Ben thought of home, his father was always dressed in what they referred to as his professor clothes: suit (usually tweed), his hair slicked back with hair spray. But he still just dad. Professor Mason. His father smiled as he saw Ben standing there.

"Ben! Welcome home! We missed you, your mom especially. So, how's school going? Grades still good? Making friends? Dating anybody?" Ben looked up, startled at that last question. Realizing that it was just a standard parent question, he decided to sidestep it as much as possible until mom was around as well. No way was he having that conversation twice. Trying to keep his voice steady, he answered.

"School is good. I'm learning a lot. My grades are steady. Almost all A's and nothing lower than a B. I am making some friends," they were mostly Jimmy's friends actually, but he wasn't going to get into that now, "and as for dating...I did meet someone. But I'm really tired from the flight, can we can talk about it later, please?" With an odd look on his face, Tom nodded and Ben headed upstairs to his room to lie down.

Later, Ben sat at the dinner table. He was just listening as he picked at his food. He had already deflected several questions about himself with vague answers. Mom and dad were chatting about pretty much nothing. Matt was chewing in sullen silence. Hal, sitting next to him, kept shooting glances at Ben, it was pretty unnerving. Finally he nodded at Hal, took a deep a breath, and stood up and cleared his throat. He fought a losing battle to keep his voice steady.

"Mom. Dad. I have uh something to tell you." His parents looked up in interest; Matt glanced up and then back down, continuing to eat. Ben kept going, "Dad, I told you I was dating somebody, well...his name is Jimmy. I've dating another guy for about four months." There. It was done. Well, it was said anyway. Now he just stood there, waiting for some kind of reaction. He heard a fork drop onto a plate and Matt start chuckling.

"Nice joke dude. You really had me believing you were a fag for a minute." Ben felt his hands tighten into a fist at the sound of the slur, his face getting red. His parents had yet to say anything. Dad had a thoughtful look on face, and mom had a confused expression as she watched the exchange between her sons. Hal stood up and put a calming hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Matt shut up right now. Grow up, ignorant children use that word. You're not a child." As Matt's mouth opened and closed trying to form a reply, Hal turned to their parents. "I met Jimmy when I visited Ben a couple months ago. He is a very nice kid. He obviously cares about a lot about Ben. They have my complete support, no matter what anybody says or thinks." He shot a look at Matt, who had finally found his voice.

"I don't give a shit what you say Hal. It's wrong, it's gross, it's sick. It's just...fuck it!" At that, Matt stormed out of the room, not even bothering to look at Ben. Slack-jawed, Ben turned to his parents. It seemed Tom figured out a response first. He was far from his usual eloquence.

"Ben...this...boy that you are dating. Have you, have you felt this way a long time? Did you think you couldn't talk to us?" Ben was taken aback by the hollow quality of his father's voice. He wasn't angry, he wasn't happy, he wasn't anything. Hal increased his reassuring grip on Ben's shoulder. Hesitantly, Ben replied.

"It's not like that dad. I didn't even know I am...what I am. Hell, I still don't know what to label myself as. I've never felt this way about anybody at all before. All I know is I care about Jimmy, and he cares about me." Ben decided to put all his chips on the table, though he starting to get worried that his mother still hadn't said anything. "He asked me to move in with him. I told him yes, but I wouldn't do it before I talked to you two. I'm not looking for permission; I just wanted to be honest with you." Ben surprised even himself with the forcefulness in his tone. Tom nodded absently.

"I can't speak for your mother, but for myself, I can't lie and say I'm not surprised Ben. Matt had no right to speak to you the way he did, we WILL be speaking to him. It will take some getting used to, but..." He trailed off when Rebekah stood up quite suddenly. Staring intently at Ben, she spoke evenly and without much emotion.

"I want to meet him."

Second Author's Note:  
So yeah I couldn't decide how I wanted his parents to react. So I decided to split the difference and have them too shocked to react much and gave Matt the role of ignorant douche teenager grossed out by "gay". Next chapter MAY be them meeting Jimmy or it could be a return to the early stages of the relationship. I hope the switching between timelines isn't confusing anybody.

By the way, it is WAY easier to stand up to your parents when your boyfriend is richer than them if they kick you out you can live in his gigantic apartment together.

Reviewers: There were none. Sad face. Kidding, I understand, I am updating frequently.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note:  
So this is the flash-forward timeline. I honestly had no idea where this chapter was going to end up.

The airport again: Ben was pretty much hyperventilating, waiting for Jimmy's plane to land. Hal stood next to him, a comforting presence. His father had offered to come with them, but Ben didn't want to ambush Jimmy right off the plane. He still didn't know how his parents were going to react. They hadn't said much in the three days since the pivotal dinner. In some ways that was a good thing. At least they hadn't thrown him out on the street. He was still terrified of what his mother would say to Jimmy, she had declined to elaborate on simply wanting to meet Jimmy. Matt hadn't talked to him at all in the last three days. Ben had heard his father trying to talk to him; but through the walls he hadn't been able to make out any words. He had definitely been able to hear Matt yelling at his father to get out of his room. So Ben had spent a lot of time hanging out with Hal.

Ben had been surprised at Jimmy's reaction when he called that night. He had poured out his feelings, and his confusion about everything that had happened. Jimmy had listened carefully, occasionally offering a helpful comment. Just listening to the sound of Jimmy's voice had a calming effect on Ben. When Ben had gotten to the part about his mother wanting to meet his boyfriend, Jimmy had simply said ok and he would be there in a couple days. They had talked every night since, but Ben still didn't know exactly what was going to happen. Like with Hal looking at Ben's phone, Jimmy had offered to beat up Matt for calling Ben a fag. Once again Ben declined, not least because he didn't want to see Jimmy go to jail for beating a 14-year old. And it would have set the very wrong tone with his parents. It had been tempting though…

When Jimmy finally walked up to the two of them with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, Ben couldn't stop staring. Jimmy was dressed...nicely. Ben didn't even know Jimmy even owned a blue button-up shirt or khakis; but there he was, wearing something better suited to Ben than himself. He had even brushed his hair and used some kind of hair spray. Ben couldn't help himself and started giggling at the sight. Jimmy gave him a mock stern look.

"Hey cut that out. I want to make a good impression on your folks, and if there's one thing I learned from my parents, it's how to fool people into thinking you are a nice person. Besides-" he was cut off by Ben throwing his arms around him and squeezing tight. He returned the hug as Ben brushed a kiss across his lips. No making out right now, not in front of Hal.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea." Ben told the other boy as he finally let go. He straightened himself out. Hal stepped forward to shake Jimmy's hand.

"Good to see you again Jimmy. Glad you were able to come out so quickly. I know Ben's told you some stuff about happened. I wish I could tell you why mom wants to meet you. I think we can safely assume she isn't going to throw plates at you and scream that you converted her son. Past that though...anyway, don't worry about Matt, Ben and I can't beat him up just fine ourselves if we need to. Jimmy smirked at that. Ben breathed in; he hadn't realized how much he missed just seeing Jimmy's smirk.

"Good to see you again too Hal; of course I came, Ben needed me to. I'm pretty good at dodging dishes, but let's hope it doesn't come to that. And I got a hotel room in the city so we don't have to worry about whether to ask if I can spend the night." They started walking towards the car and Ben latched his hand onto Jimmy's. He spoke into Jimmy's ear, likely loud enough for Hal to hear.

"Hal had the best idea the other day. If this goes badly, let's run away to Mexico and never come back. Backup plan, deal?" Jimmy smiled his blue eyes intense in the way he was talking in the suggestion, nodded and squeezed Ben's hand.

Ben was definitely hyperventilating now, as they walked through the door into the house. Jimmy increased his pressure on Ben's hand. Ben had considered not holding Jimmy when they first met with Ben's parents, but had quickly discarded the idea. His parents would either get used to the idea or they wouldn't. All that mattered was how he felt about Jimmy. Matt was standing at the top of the stairs, but quickly strode off to his room at the sight of Ben entering the house. Ben sighed, not surprised.

They walked into the kitchen, Hal trailing after them. Ben's parents were sitting at the table drinking coffee. They looked up as Ben cleared his throat. In unison, they stood up. His mother looked up briefly, but couldn't seem to take her eyes off Ben and Jimmy's entwined hands. His father was looking at Jimmy intently, no clue to his thoughts on his face. For once, Jimmy didn't seem confident, his eyes darting around the room. Ben breathed in and out. He imbued his words with a confidence he didn't feel, bolstered by Jimmy's touch. "Mom, dad. This is Jimmy. My boyfriend."

After a moment of silence, his father stepped forward, extending a hand toward Jimmy. Jimmy let go of Ben's hand to shake Tom's. Ben was paralyzed, like he had lost his lucky talisman. His father smiled widely.

"Pleased to meet you Jimmy. I'm Ben's father, Tom. I've heard a bit about you from Hal," at that, Ben eyes briefly glanced at Hal. Hal just shrugged, and mouthed that had to tell them something. Tom continued speaking, "Ben, on the other hand, told us next to nothing beyond pronouncing you his boyfriend. This is my wife, Rebekah." Ben's mother looked up and smiled tightly. She spoke without much inflection.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Second Author's Note:  
So yeah, I decided to split the difference again. Tom is being supportive, Rebekah…eh not so much. We will see more of Matt in the coming flash-forward chapters and as the timelines converge. I think most of my reluctance to put a pin on the parents' reaction is that I never really officially came out to my parents. I told them I was gay one time when I was super drunk and we haven't really discussed it since. My parents are super religious and my mother often makes comment about how sad it is that "so many young people experiment with homosexual relationships" now. The good news is that my cousin, who is gay, waits table at a gay club in his underwear, so the bar is set low when I do actually come out!

I think next chapter we return to the earlier parts of the relationship. Or we could see how dinner goes, depends on which flows easier when I try to write.


	21. Chapter 21

WARNING: The following chapter, from the very start contains (very) explicit sexual acts between two males. After that there is sappy love talk. If homosexuality, sexual scenes in general, and/or love talk offends you, do not read this chapter or this story. Please forgive any grammar problems, I wrote it on my smartphone and I tried to edit as best I could when I transferred it.

Author's Note:  
Yep, it is a double update kind of a day. It may even be a triple update, though I am trying to avoid those so I don't have days where I have nothing to post. This is regular timeline. It may be the last before the timelines converge, haven't decided yet.

Ben had never actually been in Jimmy's bedroom before. That would have been a little usual if he thought about it, but he was pretty incapable of thought right now. They were lying next to each other, on top of the bed. He had his tongue pressed deeply into Jimmy's mouth, seeking out the farthest reaches. Jimmy's tongue was running across the roof off Ben's mouth. Their shirts were already off and their hands were roaming. Ben ran his hands across Jimmy's back, as Jimmy rubbed Ben's nipples in what Ben had come to think of as Jimmy's signature move. Jimmy broke off the kiss to capture one of Ben's nipples in his mouth, sucking at it. Ben moaned as he moved his hands down to Jimmy's belt. As if it was a signal, both boys were trying to fumble with the other's pants, which was a little difficult with Jimmy's mouth firmly planted on Ben's chest and Ben's sucking at Jimmy's neck.

When they finally got their pants off, jimmy wasted no time. He slid down off the bed to get in between Ben's legs, quickly relieving Ben of his boxers, which had been way too tight anyway. His blue eyes blazed with the same hunger they always displayed at moments like this. It was like he wanted to possess Ben completely, or maybe just devour him. Ben felt like that should unnerve him, but it only spurred him to greater excitement. He took Ben's member in his hand, causing Ben to moan loudly. Hastily, Jimmy licked up and down Ben's length, and then captured one of Ben's balls in his mouth. "Oh fuck. Jimmy!" Ben cried, eyes widening, that was something Jimmy hadn't done before. Jimmy went on to roughly shove as much of Ben's dick as he could into his mouth. As he began to bob up and down, Ben could hear Jimmy moaning himself, causing vibrations to travel along Ben's dick and he started moaning seemingly in unison with Jimmy. He was glad his stamina had increased from when Jimmy had first started doing this a month ago, he had been afraid he would orgasm that quickly every time. Soon enough though, spurred by the look in Jimmy's ice blue eyes and the sounds they were both making, he came with an earth-shattering groan. He watched with interest as Jimmy, never taking his mouth off, swallowed it all. Jimmy let Ben's dick fall out of his mouth with an audible pop and a smirk.

Normally this would be where Ben would lay back and relax, but he decided he didn't want to. He grabbed Jimmy by the wrist and pulled him up to the bed. After a rough kiss, he pushed Jimmy back on the bed and slipped down so their earlier positions were reversed, with Ben in between Jimmy's legs. Jimmy's widened as Ben slipped the other boy's boxers off. Ben licked his lips a little nervously as he stared at Jimmy's dick; obviously he had never done this before. Watching Jimmy's face intently, he took Jimmy's erection in his hand, rubbing across it lazily. Jimmy had his eyes closed and was whispering Ben's name though he didn't seem to be aware of it. Finally, Ben lowered his head and took an experimental lick. Jimmy shuddered and groaned. Ben frowned slightly. It didn't taste bad exactly. It didn't taste like much in fact. It certainly didn't drive him to the heights of desire that it seemed to for Jimmy. He lowered his head more and generally tried to imitate the things Jimmy did for Ben. He mumbled to Jimmy, "Do me a favor and warn me, I don't really want you to bust in my mouth. Sorry." Jimmy grunted an ok and Ben moved his mouth and down faster and faster, reaching a hand to stroke Jimmy's base along with his sucking. A little later, as Ben's jaw started to tire, Jimmy strangled out a warning and Ben moved his mouth off and started stroking with both hands quickly. He was always fascinated by the things he saw on Jimmy's face at this point. With a moan, Jimmy's seed started spilling out. Ben moved back on the bed and wrapped his arms around Jimmy as they panted heavily. Jimmy looked at Ben's face and started chuckling.

"That wasn't exactly your favorite thing, was it?" Ben shook his head somewhat sheepishly.

"No, it wasn't. Sorry, it just doesn't seem to make feel the way it seems to make you feel." Jimmy started chuckling lowly again. They lay there, wrapped up in each other's arms. Ben, suddenly very cold after the heat of their encounter, wrapped a blanket from the bed around both of them, planting a kiss to Jimmy's forehead and stretching lazily as he gazed into Jimmy's eyes.

"It's ok," Jimmy replied in amusement, "Giving a blowjob isn't for everybody. I happen to love it, especially for you, but not everybody likes it." His expression grew serious. "Move in with me." He said softly. Ben pulled up slightly so he was resting against the pillows but still under the blanket.

"What? Seriously? Are you serious? Already?" He knew he was babbling again, but he was taken aback. He didn't even consider saying no, but he wanted to talk about it.

"Yes seriously, already." Jimmy replied. "I've never met anybody like you Ben, and I hate it when we're not together. You spend most of your time here anyway, and it would get you away from your guitar playing roommate. Move in." Jimmy's voice took on a pleading quality. Ben brushed a kiss across Jimmy's lips.

"I'm not saying no. My answer is yes, but not yet. I...need to talk to my parents first. I don't want them to find out some other way. Plus there's the practical consideration of they pay my room and board. But let me talk to them first. I go back home in two months and Hal is visiting next week." Jimmy's face lit up and he captured Ben's mouth in a kiss.

"Not yet. I can deal with that."

Second Author's Note:  
So this is when Jimmy asks Ben to move in, obviously. I think from now on we will just start from the flash-forwards time. There may be ONE last chapter in this early stage, haven't decided yet.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note:  
So, the timelines converge now! We may have a few flashbacks here and there down the road, but for now, the flash-forwards are the present. Confused yet? Today will most likely be another double update. I'm getting tons of smartphone inspiration and am avoiding writing something else…

"I'm sorry...Ben's brother Matt won't be joining us for dinner. I tried to speak to him, but..." Tom Mason trailed off at the look on Ben's face. "Anyway, I hope you like pork chops." Jimmy nodded nervously. The whole situation was just completely awkward, which was par for the course for Ben. His father was being very friendly, Hal was being normal (new normal anyway). His mother wasn't saying much, which was infuriating Ben. At this point he kind of wished she would start throwing dishes, so just he would have some clue at what she was thinking. They had heard Matt moving around upstairs, but had never come downstairs. Ben figured hunger would drive him downstairs after everybody else had gone to bed. Speaking of which. He cleared his throat.

"So um, after dinner, I'm going to drive Jimmy to his hotel and help him get settled. Hal said I could borrow his car." Tom glanced at Hal, who nodded, his face daring their father to make an issue of it. Tom sighed briefly.

"Well if you think that's best Ben. Jimmy I had assumed you would stay with your parents. Hal told me you were from Boston as well." Jimmy's eyes flashed in exasperation only Ben would recognize. Jimmy replied.

"Um, yes I am, originally. But...my parents are not together anymore. My mother is in Europe, I'm not sure for how long. And my father, well, I'm not planning on seeing him this trip." Tom nodded. He smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It is always sad when marriages don't work out. What does your father do if I can ask?" The flash briefly returned to Jimmy's eyes. Ben winced. He knew how much Jimmy hated talking about his family. But he also assumed Jimmy had come prepared to answer the questions Ben's parents would ask. Ben only had to look at Jimmy, in his nice clothes and styled hair, to know how much of an effort his boyfriend was making. Jimmy spoke softly, barely above a mutter.

"Uh, well. He sells cars. He...owns Boland Motors. You've probably seen the commercials. He's in some of them. He used to make me and my half-brother be in them when we were young..." Ben's eyes widened. Jimmy had never told Ben that. He didn't remember THOSE commercials, but maybe they were on YouTube... Tom whistled.

"That's one of the largest car dealership chains in the city. Quite impressive. Oh I think dinner is ready." They all looked to see Rebekah carrying trays of food to the table.

"Here mom, let me help." Ben said, and started towards the silverware to help set the table. He was brought up short by her reaction. In his entire life he had his mother shout maybe a dozen times. She was always the peacemaker, the mediator. Even when she was angry and wanted to correct you, she would do it in even tones.

"NO! No…thank you Ben. I've got it. Why don't you and your…and Jimmy just sit down? I've got it." Both Hal and Tom also stared a bit at the vehemence at the beginning of her statement. Jimmy's eyes fell, and Ben slipped his hand into Jimmy's. He squared his shoulders and looked his parents in the eyes.

"Maybe we should go. I mean, Jimmy is tired from the flight, and he needs to unpack...maybe we should come back tomorrow." He searched his mother's face for a clue, any clue, as to how she was taking all this. Though her outburst was a pretty telling sign that she wasn't exactly skipping through the meadow happy that her son wasn't straight. He increased his grip on Jimmy's hand. His mother looked up. With the same lack of inflection, and tight smile, she responded.

"No. That's not necessary. Let's eat. Please, sit." Warily, Ben did so, pulling the chair next to him out for Jimmy. Jimmy sat down, but while things were brought to the table, they continued to hold hands under the table. Rebekah sat down.

"So, Jimmy. What are you studying in school? Are you a political science major like Ben?" Tom asked as they all started eating. Ben perked up at the question. Jimmy didn't often discuss his studies, he was eager to see how Jimmy responded to the question.

"Um, no. I'm an uh physics major, basically. I kind of make my own curriculum." That seemed strange to Ben, but his father nodded in comprehension, so he let it go for now. His mother looked up, showing interest for the first time.

"Physics? I studied some physics at college when I met Ben's father. I was earth sciences major and of course he was a history major." After that, she returned to concentrating on her food. Tom continued to make small talk with Jimmy for the rest of dinner.

As Jimmy and Ben put on their coats to leave, Tom showed them out, reaching to shake hands with Jimmy.

"Jimmy, it was very nice to meet you," he turned to Ben, "Ben, we'll...work on your mother. And Matt. It's just a lot to get used to. Your mother was raised very differently than myself, and how I've tried to bring you boys up. Obviously that fell flat with your younger brother. Maybe if Jimmy could get a free car for Matt it would go a long way..." He smiled to show he wasn't serious. Ben and Jimmy walked to Hal's car. Ben leaned on close and kissed Jimmy's temple, speaking softly.

"Ya know that car thing for Matt isn't actually such a bad idea, his birthday is in a couple months...kidding kidding.

They opened the door to Jimmy's hotel room. Ben whistled through his teeth. "Wow. Pretty snazzy. I'd totally stay here instead of my own room. Are we gonna stay in places like this like this when we go on vacation? Cause I could probably chip in, you know, a whole ten bucks or so..." He trailed off as Jimmy grabbed him and pressed a kiss against his lips. Jimmy smiled.

"Already planning vacations together? Must be love." Jimmy smirked, trying to play off the last comment as a joke. But Ben looked at him in complete seriousness as he spoke softly.

"Yeah, must be. So what do you say we give the place a proper welcome? I mean, I hear you're supposed to do things in hotel rooms..." He captured Jimmy's mouth in a rough kiss, dragging his tongue into the other boy's mouth. Jimmy pushed him back slightly.

"Whoa. Sounds like a good idea. Remember when I took the lead in this stuff, and sweet, innocent Ben just learned? What happened to hesitant Ben, he was pretty cute...?" Ben grinned sheepishly.

"Oh yeah. He was bunches of fun. No idea what to do with his hands, busting after a minute...tons of fun. You changed me a lot, obviously. Don't worry, you're still leading the charge in social situations, I promise to remain timid, shy Ben around strangers... And I'm sure you still have stuff to teach me." Jimmy's face took on an oddly hesitant expression.

"Well...there is ONE thing we haven't done yet, least." Ben raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Jimmy shuffled his feet, oddly reticent to speak. Realization hit Ben. "Oh. That."


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note:  
Real life things are…complicated. So updates will be sporadic and random. Sorry. So I decided to skip to the next morning and save that night's events for a later chapter.

Ben and Jimmy walked into his parent's house the next morning. Ben was nervous. He knew his prepared excuse, "we were watching TV and fell asleep" would fall flat and certainly his dad would see right through it. But, he wasn't about to discuss last night's events, even tangentially, with his parents. Besides, he was moving in with Jimmy, so now was as good a time as any to start getting the awkward out of the way. He did feel a little guilty that hadn't brought Hal's car back last night. Plus, they just had to get through lunch, and then they would fly back to school together. Hal had already agreed to drive them to the airport. Ben was holding Jimmy's hand, but let it go when they walked through the door. Matt was in the living room, playing a game on the TV.

"Hi Matt," Ben said, doing his best to sound normal, and friendly. Matt turned to Ben with a cold glare and said nothing. "Where are mom and dad?" Matt just shrugged and turned back to his game. "Ok. Thanks a lot jackass. Listen if you've got a problem..." He trailed off when Jimmy grabbed his shoulder. Ben noticed his hands were balled into fists. Jimmy spoke softly.

"Ben. Not now. Just let it go. Let's find your parents and get you packed then we can go home." That brought Ben up short. Home. For his entire life that had been here, with Matt and Hal and his parents. He let out a long breath as he realized, with perfect clarity, that from now on, home was where Jimmy was. He was almost rocked back physically as pieces started falling into place. His disconnect with his family and childhood home; the strange sense of detachment from the familiar.

"Yeah, yeah ok. Let's find my mom and dad. We'll grab lunch. Our flight leaves in a couple hours anyway. I still need to talk logistics with my dad about them not paying room and board anymore." Impulsively, Ben latched onto Jimmy's hand again, gripping it firmly. They headed into the kitchen to find Tom sitting at the table reading the paper and Hal standing by the counter drinking a glass of juice. Hal smirked knowingly at Ben, who even though he had showered at the hotel still wore the same clothes from last night. Ben scolded slightly and shook his head. Tom looked up from the paper. His voice was very natural and even toned.

"Morning Ben, Jimmy. Sleep alright? Hal tells me your plane leaves soon; I hope you have time for lunch." Ben smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, we should leave in an hour or so. Hal's driving us to the airport. I just wanted to talk to you about making sure you don't get charged for school room and board anymore. Where's mom?"

"Out shopping, I'm not sure if she will be back in time to see you off. But she left some cookies for you to take back to school with you..."

While Ben and his father started talking about logistical changes, Jimmy drifted towards Hal. He smiled as Hal nodded, smirked, and spoke.

"What's up Jimmy? You guys have a late night? Ben was supposed to be packed by now. Those two will be talking for an hour about school. Trust me." Jimmy just nodded. He was never sure exactly what to talk about with Hal. Ben was a much more private person than Jimmy was, and it was sometimes hard to predict what he was going to want to keep between them. Jimmy didn't mind, it was just another difference between him and his boyfriend.

"Yeah, I told Ben we needed to leave a couple times. But, you know him, he doesn't get out of bed until he's good and ready, not a minute before. Kind of annoying, but what can you do? So your mom's out shopping huh? What couldn't wait until Ben and I had left?" Jimmy asked with a knowing smirk. He could guess the answer was. It was pretty obvious that Ben's mother wasn't thrilled about Ben and Jimmy, to say the least. Jimmy was sorry to see how it was affecting Ben; they had talked about it quite a bit the night before. She seemed to be making the best effort she could. But the tight smiles and basic statements affected Ben, and Jimmy if he was being honest, even more than Matt's angry ignorance. Jimmy had encountered plenty of homophobia before, and from a resentful teenager like Matt it wasn't shocking. Disappointing, yes. Shocking, no.

He had tried to reassure Ben it was alright. But Ben was already stressed about the move and everything that came with it. He had confessed to Jimmy that he felt guilty. Here was Jimmy, who had money, a car and an apartment. So much stuff he was willing to share and Ben didn't feel like he was bringing anything approaching the same level to the arrangement. It was cute, that he worried about stuff like that. Jimmy knew a lot of people who wanted something from him, and here was this boy, adorably earnest about not taking advantage of Jimmy. The differences in their personalities fascinated Jimmy. Where Jimmy would charge ahead when he wanted something, never afraid to speak out or challenge someone; Ben was shy, reserved. Hell one time Jimmy had had to convince him to send something back at lunch because they brought something Ben hadn't ordered. Ben was just going to eat it without comment. Jimmy was so lost in thought that he almost missed Hal replying to him.

"Yeah, mom used to have to basically drag him into the shower in the mornings for school. Of course once he got to school, he was happy as...well, as a nerd in school. And yep, she had some SUPER IMPORTANT errand she had to run right away. I believe it was buying sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond. She remembered this once Ben called to say you were coming to return my car. Hey, at least she still made him cookies to take back to school like she usually does..." Hal's expression turned serious. "I really am sorry about how mom is acting. I really thought she would react better. I knew that our grandparents were super religious, but I thought mom was more open minded than that. At least she's making an effort, sort of. Dad is super cool about it. They were both asking me about what I thought of you. With dad it was a conversation, with mom it felt more like an interrogation. Like she was looking for something to point at that she could use to prove you guys were wrong for thing doing this." Hal stopped speaking when Ben walked up to them. Jimmy gazed at Ben's green eyes. Hesitantly, Ben pressed a kiss to Jimmy's forehead, slipped their hands together, and spoke.

"Just have to pack real quick and then I'm done. Ready to go home?"


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Hello people. Just wanted to assure everyone I am still alive. Things in my life have been pretty crazy and I haven't had much time to write. Plus I've lost some inspiration for this story. I've got a lot of beginnings to chapters but can't seem to finish one or stick with one idea. But I figured I'd up load this short update! Also, I changed the school from Princeton to NYU. I'm too lazy to edit the previous chapters to reflect this right now but I'll get around to it.

Ben stared at Jimmy's sleeping face. He was always struck by how peaceful his boyfriend looked at times like this. He wasn't the cocky to the point of arrogant person he presented to the world; Ben saw him for who Jimmy really was. He felt the weight and heat of the other boy's body in his arms. The rise and fall of his chest as it pressed against Ben. He took care not to wake Jimmy up, not wanting to spoil the moment. Their alarm would go off soon enough, shattering this sense of peace and reminding him that no matter how much he wanted to stay in this moment forever the real world had other plans.

He had been living with Jimmy for just a few weeks. It amazed him how easily they had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. He had never lived with anybody but his parents and brothers before. Ok, he had lived in the dorms with David but that was more like sharing a cabin at summer camp with someone who had a completely different schedule and goals.

Jimmy seemed to have no schedule that Ben could discern. Every couple of days Jimmy would head to campus for some seminar type class. He had told Ben the name of it but it was highly technical and Ben didn't really understand it. Just a few days before Ben had finally gotten Jimmy to explain his unusual approach to school. Ben grinned at how awkward and nervous Jimmy had been to admit that he had tested so highly in school that the college recruited him into their physics program and let him make his own curriculum. And a full scholarship. Ben frowned slightly at that; Jimmy's parents were richer than God, Jimmy gets a full ride while Ben had to make do with some partial academic scholarships and the money his parents sent. He shook his head to clear his mind of the beginnings of jealousy. Ben had gotten offers of almost full scholarships at other colleges, but he had had his heart set on NYU. He could have gotten a full ride at Boston College, but no way was he going to a school his dad taught at. Bad enough that his father knew people at NYU who were surely giving him friendly updates.

The alarm went off and Jimmy jerked awake. Groaning loudly, Jimmy stared at the offending clock. Turning it off he frowned at Ben, as if accusing him of being responsible for disturbing Jimmy's slumber.

"I fucking hate mornings. It should be illegal to be forced out of bed before 11am. What the hell is that look for?"

"Nothing," Ben replied, smiling shyly, "I just know one way to make sure you like mornings now that I'm here."


End file.
